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I hate to sound like a philistine, but I just don’t dig going to the opera. Even the most user-friendly operas feature stretches of excruciating pain. I think the problem all comes down to the productions’ dedication to plot. They have this ridiculous story to tell and so you have to sit through all this recitative that makes me want to slam my head into the wall. That’s the part of the opera where, basically, the characters are reciting dialogue (usually inane dialogue) that would only take 10 seconds to speak, but they have to sing it. But, only kinda sing it. It’s not like any formal aria is happening. . .just a lot of awful dragging out of syllables. Liiiiiiiiiiiiiike thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis foooooooooooor no reeeeeeeasoooooooooon. And don’t tell me it isn’t random. It sure as shit sounds random to me. I can’t take it. I’d rather listen to the singing on American Idol than listen to this.

“The First Emperor” is, like, 90% recitative. Add to this that it is in English and I get seasick. If the recicative is in Italian or German at least it has the saving grace of me not knowing what they’re talking about.

There were a few cool moments. . .the very opening which involved some singing in Chinese. . . and the music during set changes that involved a lot of gongs and bells and groovy Asian sounds. There may have been something cool in the second part but we wouldn’t know, we got the hell out of there after 90 minutes.

Another thing that bothers me about the opera: the fans. At least up in the cheap seats at the Met, you have a lot of phychos. People get real snippy, constantly shushing each other. You don’t get that at the Philharmonic. Eh, opera sucks.