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When I first reviewed Trek 5 (strangely, just one day short of exactly one year ago) I musta been on happy pills. I gave it a “B-” and wrote:

This movie is not the disaster some make it out to be. In fact, the first two-thirds are just dandy. There is good comedy (particularly from Dr. McCoy) and the action sequences are good, too. Then it completely falls apart. It makes absolutely no sense – as if whole scenes are missing (which, I beleive is actually the case.) There are wild character contradictions, plot holes and a massive anti-climax. Yes, the ending of “Star Trek V” does indeed suck. But the whole movie is not a waste, and fans of Trek will find plenty to enjoy in the earlier sections of the film.

I rescind this. This movie is a piece of shit. Looking at it now, in the midst of my ongoing Star Trek review process, I recognize the cosmic-level fuckup this horrible turd of a film actually is. It is as if it were made by people who had never watched Star Trek before.

I could point out the inconsistancies, but I’d sound like a psycho. (Just a few, then, off the top of my head: A Romulan and a Klingon would never just hang out together in a casino, even if it is on a “peace planet”; If Sybock really wasn’t brainwashing people, there’s no way Sulu, Uhura or Chekov would follow him, they’d all sooner die than betray Kirk or the Enterprise; If no ships have survived the “Great Barrier” before, how come the Enterprise and the following Bird of Prey have no troubles? Give me a few beers and then I’ll really get going.)

This movie is an insult to the fans, even more so because, at the time, The Next Generation was going pretty strong. Thankfully #6 would come soon to wipe the slate clean.

(NB: I will still agree, though, and say that some of the humor at the beginning is decent. McCoy especially. He’s a born schticker)