I can take anything New York wants to give me — hustlers on the subway, maniacs on the street, status-divas with their black sunglasses, tourists looking for The Ground Zero, teenagers with a vocabulary that’d make Bill Cosby blush. But I can’t take seven straight days of rain. So, New York, I am giving you a one-week up yours and leaving for the simple life down south. I’ll be on a lake, feeding ducks, eating chicken & waffles and, perhaps, making small talk with armed neighbors who voted for Jesse Helms. It’s gonna be awesome.