Category: The Jake Files

March & April (And Even Some February) Photos

Lots of photos have been taken, few have been shared.
From Jake’s birthday party:
Amanda says, “Hey, what’s with you?”

Amanda thinks Ann is loopy.

My Aunt Joan’s favorite words begin with an “F” and end with an “UCK.”

Jake in a parachute.
UPDATE: This actually isn’t Jake, but one of his little friends. Who can see with such a blurry lens?

I’m thinking of doing something stupid.

I’ve done something stupid.

I’m paying the price.

An offscreen hand to help me out.

I cook breakfast once in a while.

The funniest named public housing development.

A pigeon.

Matt Levy and Goober.

Me and Ely (nee Chairman Meow.)

Jurgen makes a face.

Mr. & Mrs. Johnson-Rozger (on her birthday.)

Taken the same night (and notice how Emma’s head [Emma is the one on the right] strangely echoes Mrs. J-R’s!)

Dumplings and Sandwiches in the Flushing Underworld:
The Levy’s and I have made a few trips to this hidden mall in Flushing (Main St. & 41st) and each time it is a major event.

Here is Mark ordering up. Note how the decor really looks like some dude’s apartment in Queens.

Matt and I wait in anticipation.

The ingredients for the mystery sandwiches.


Dude’s making some kinda spicy sweet noodles that kinda taste like Waffle Crisp cereal.

Lamb sandwiches. Sooooo good.

Outta control dumplings.

Stinky Fried Tofu. It doesn’t sound good, it doesn’t taste good. But I am glad I tried it once.

It’s my world!!!

It’s my head!!!

I love the Flushing scene, but my heart belongs to Wo Hop.

On St. Patrick’s Day (or, actually, a few days later) Ann made Irish Food. Behold!

The Coleman’s Double-Strength Mustard is INTENSE. Even I had to cry uncle.

Yield To Jake

Jake says “Yield! Yield! Yield!” as he holds up his Yield Shield. Just when I thought I’d done enough, Jake demands, “Uncle Jordan — go get the Big Stop Sign!” Oh, if only I bought everything that crazy old man was selling at that yard sale!

July 2, 2005

Many cousins and family friends were at the Hoffman Estate in Monmouth County. Alas, my camera batteries were quite low. I only had enough juice to snap this shot of young Jake enjoying corn. Behind him is George Hoffman, somehow managing to use a fork on corn and hamburgers.



Jordan Hoffman is a New York-based writer and film critic working for The Guardian, Vanity Fair, Thrillist, Times of Israel, NY Daily News and elsewhere.

He is the host of ENGAGE: The Official Star Trek Podcast, a member of the New York Film Critics Circle and challenges you to a game of backgammon.