Check every self-conscious quasar in your zetabert quadrant, you are going to Star Trek: The Experience. I wish I could say someone dragged me here. But on the plane to Vegas I stated aloud — I don’t care what we do, so long as we go to the Star Trek thing. I’m glad we did. The first thing I did was humiliate both myself and the woman selling the tickets when I flashed her the Vulcan hand signal and said “Live Long and Prosper.” This poor woman (over 55) then had to respond, as she had been trained to do, “Peace and Long Life.” I really shoulda just gotten down on my knees and begged forgiveness right then.
The vendors immediately smelled blood in the water — it wasn’t five minutes later I was buying shit I didn’t need. For example, this little chestnut I coulda made myself with photoshop:
Look a little closer there:
As I was whining about buyers remorse (this picture was waaaay too costly) Ann reminded me that I don’t own photoshop and don’t know how to use it, either. So I should shut up.
Anyway, there certainly was no shortage of dopey shit for me to take digital photos of. They include:
Lt. Uhura’s sexy outfit. Insert Bob Hope growl here.
As well as the thingamajig that sticks out of Lt. Uhura’s ear.
A model of the Enterprise from “The Next Generation.”
The 3D chess set Mr. Spock played.
Lt. Commander LaForge’s eye visor.
Here I am next to the bad guy from the episode “Arena.” This is actually the first episode of Trek I remember watching. Channel 9 or 11, some Sunday afternoon, in Michael Tobin’s basement in Bethpage, NY. (The fellow on view, my quick internet research tells me, is a Gorn.)
Some other aliens you might find if you were to seek out new life, new civilizations and boldly split infinitives.
Ann and I run into a Ferengi. He was very charming.
Ann runs befowl of a Klingon. He mocked my taste in shirts, and later mocked me for spending too much time reading all the little captions near the artifacts.
Ann cowers in fear from the monster from that episode where Dr. McCoy’s ex-girlfriend is leeching the salt from everyone’s body and leaving them not only dead but covered in red suction-cup marks. (Okay, fine, the episode is known as “The Man Trap” and the monster is known as the M-113 Creature. You happy now?)
Primary-colored engineering blocks and, if you look closely, the Agonizer from “Mirror, Mirror.”
Timeline of “The Original Series,” or, as we call it in this house, “The Real Star Trek.”
Mr. Spock’s Tricorder and Phaser. It seems as if the Tricorder is a tape-recorder with an extra strap. But yet it can do so much more!!
A glass of Romulan Ale.
Me – enjoying a glass of Romulan Ale.
