Van Helsing starts off as a giddy, smart adventure picture not too removed from Stephen Sommers’ previous The Mummy, but ends up a drawn-out bore of bad special effects much like The Mummy Returns. Also — somehow they managed to un-sexy Kate Beckinsale. I remember her being attractive, but here her face looks like a horse. And her attempt at an Eastern European accent is laughable. (But you can’t single her out for bad acting. Hugh Jackman, much sexier here than Kate B., is dreadful, too.) Points must be given, though, for the central premise (Dr. Frankenstein’s work was actually commissioned by Count Dracula) and the determination to cram in every classic horror trope from werewolves to Jekyl & Hyde — not to mention the very entertaining premise that the Vatican has a confessional that doubles as a secret elevator to a secret chamber where secret clerics (of every faith!) make James Bondian weapons for fighting sin. There, I just spoiled the movie. Catch it on cable.