“The Swarm” may be the best bad movie I’ve ever seen in my life. I compare it with “Plan 9 From Outer Space.” I compare it with “Robot Monster.” What makes “The Swarm” so sublime is that the cast is so respectable: Michael Caine, Henry Fonda, Ben Johnson, etc. The moments of zen are almost too many to count. Let’s start with the General who announces with gravity that the unidentified mass on the radar is travelling at “Seven Miles an Hour!” Then there’s the fact that anyone who survives a bee attack hallucinates the same giant bee is coming to get them. The movie also features little kids throwing Molotov cocktails; a man on fire, being stung by killer bees plummeting to his death by crashing through a skyscraper window; asshole entymologists standing up for the rights of the “good honeybees”; and two of the most baffling reaction shots in the history of cinema. 1) Michael Caine, a bad-ass entymologist who doesn’t like authority, is given one humanizing trait by genius screenwriter Sterling Silliphant: he likes sunflower seeds. He is always eating sunflower seeds and keeps them in a leather pouch. When his mentor, wheelchair bound Henry Fonda, arrives at the underground bunker by helicopter, the first thing the two comrades do is chow on some sunflower seeds. Then the General, played by hardass Richard Widmark, marches over to the two eggheads and starts barking orders. Cut to a reaction of Henry Fonda and Michale Caine (how many Oscars do the two share?) and what are they doing? They are chewing. They are both chewing sunflower seeds. 2) Caine convinces Widmark to try one last crazy scheme to kill the killer bees. (Never mind that every other idea Caine has had resulted in thousands of deaths.) Ya gotta picture the scene — a tan room in an office building. Wall to wall carpeting. Old computers running graphics that look like “Battlezone” and “Tempest.” Widmark in a General’s uniform. Caine in a turtleneck and sports jacket. Random 70s dude with big glasses kinda leaning over one of the computers. Widmark gives Caine and 70s dude the go-ahead. So Caine gives a big boyish grin and turns to Mr. 70s. But Mr. 70s is so laid back he can’t move his body. He just extends his hand a la Disco Stu. So Caine — Caine the actor — is so obviously perplexed by this awkward blocking that he grabs 70s dude by the hand and by the forearm — and just kinda jiggles the arm that won’t budge off the computer. The shot is held and then we cut. It is the most fascinatingly baffling transition I’ve seen since the center-out wipes that dominate “Battlefield Earth.” Anyway, I’d like to start a drinking game where everyone does a shot of mead (honey wine) whenever Michael Caine or Richard Chamberlain shouts “killer bee!”