The Man was in full force this weekend.

Trying to swim at the same damned beach I swam at the week before, but I guess because it was July 4 weekend, The Man had to give me a hard time.

The Man, incidentally, is a 15 year old punk-assed punk!

– You can’t swim here!

– Huh?

– You have to swim in front of the lifeguard!

– But I swam here last week?

– You have to go over there.

– But everyone else is over there. I want to be over here.

– You can’t swim here.

– I’m not even swimming, I’m standing.

– You are up to your waist.

– It’s okay. I’ll be okay over here.

– But you can’t swim here.

– I absolve you. If I drown, my relatives won’t sue.

– You have to go by the lifeguard.

– But I can see the lifeguard from here. So she can see me. I’m okay over here.

– It isn’t that far over, just go over there by the lifeguard.

– Right it isn’t that far over.

– Right!

– Right! So go swim by the lifeguard.

So I went by the lifeguard. And then, a little later, I went back to where I was. And then had the same conversation with a different 15 year old punk. This went on for two days. I think it is a New Jersey thing. Should it happen the next time we go down (not for a few weeks, as we’re going to North Carolina) I will bring either a baseball bat or Jason Rozger.