Oy, such a racket! It’s the late 60s, society is about to explode, but there are still enough hausfraus in curlers with the large glass ashtrays and Mantovani records playing. Ignoring all content this movie makes high marks simply as a window into costume and home decorating among the Catholic working class of the era. Then we meet the men: The Rabbit, the Bull, the Gipper and the Badger. Four bible salesmen schlepping through the snow, watching the fights on the motel tube, puffing their chests out at the national conference. “You are doing your Father’s work” they are told and then they beat their way to someone’s kitchen table and, basically, tell them that if they don’t buy this expensive leather bound bible with color photos they are leading their children to rack and ruin. It is so awful, it is so embarrassing. . .both for the pitcher and the pitched. It is the type of movie that makes you want to crawl under your seat and die.
Matt Zoller Seitz introduced the film and then lead a Q & A with Albert Maysles, who Ann said reminded her of her Uncle Steve (I second this.) It was during the Q & A when I realized something. A few years back, I had a stint in sales. I got paid well but I hated it — absolutely hated everything about it (this movie is no lie.) It actually affected my personality out of the workplace — I became a more manipulative person, something of an asshole (the shop was run by a Napoleonic tyrant who, one day, I will base a film character on and everyone will think I am making it up.) Anyway, the point is that when I was there, making phone sales, I actually tried to shill to Albert Maysles at his (then) home at the Dakota. It took me a minute to realize who I was talking to (I made 900 calls a day and often didn’t know who I was talking to) and when I realized it was Maysles I said something on the order of — “Hey, you’re Albert Maysles?” He replied yes. I then apologized for bothering him and told him I enjoyed his films. I told him I studied under George Stoney at NYU and he said, “Oh, good old George – we go way back!” I debated going into my pitch, but decided to save a little bit of my soul and told him to have a nice day. I’d seen many of Maysles’ films at that point, but not “Salesman.” That would’ve made the whole thing more depressing.
Since I’m on the subject, other celebrities and quasi-celebrities that I spoke to at that horrible, horrible job include:
Frank Deford — sports columnist and NPR guy. I chatted with him for quite some time, and I hardly care about sports. He was a really friendly person.
Sarah Vowell — writer and (see a trend?) NPR gal. She was very giggly and funny and, for some reason, encouraged me to pitch her despite letting me know in advance she wasn’t buying anything. I think she just wanted to chat. She made me like her more than I already did.
Geraldo Rivera’s wife — not quite a celebrity, but very sweet & fun.
Jeff Rossen — he’s a haricut newsreader from Channel 7, but he, too, was very nice & fun (I didn’t know who he was until he told me, but he had “that voice.”)
Budd Schulberg — writer of movies like “On The Waterfront” and “A Face In The Crowd.” He was kinda mean, actually, but he is quite advanced in age and doesn’t have to be nice to idiots like me on the phone.
The Chick Who Played Dizzy Flores in “Starship Troopers” — I forget her name now, but I recognized it when I saw it back then. She was nice.
Paul Newman — Never had the guts to call him when his name came up.
Spike Lee — See above.
Stephen Sondheim — See above.
Michael Eisner — Not so much lack of guts and lack of initiative — you think he answers his own phone?
This one’s been on my Must See list for years. Now I’m moving it a little higher. Which means I’ll probably get to it sometime in my mid-40s.
Cut Budd Schulberg some slack — if he was mean, it’s because On the Waterfront and A Face in the Crowd are mean (and brilliant) movies, the likes of which never get made anymore. I’m convinced Springsteen’s manager (and Johnny Cougar’s) watched Face in the Crowd and took copious notes when it came time to structure their artists’ careers.
Hey — nobody has to be forgiven for hanging up on a tele-marketer! Schulberg, at age 90 or whatever he was back then, has every right to bark at me and hang up. “Face in the Crowd” is a terrific movie.