Two words: Train wreck. How could Stanley Donen, who started his career as a choreographer, stage some of the lamest and confusing chase and fight sequences I’ve ever seen? How could anyone have thought it was a good idea to see the aged Kirk Douglas’ bare ass? How funny is it to see Harvey Keitel’s voice dubbed by the dude who played the angry dad in “Amadeus?” How much did Martin Amis (!) get paid to pen this awful screenplay? At 88 minutes, it’s a train wreck I almost-sorta recommend for people who like to watch big stars in make bad movies. Also, Farrah Fawcett can’t act for shit. In this, she’s like the Goldie Hawn “dumb blonde” from Laugh-In, but without the irony. With today’s wonders of cosmetic surgery, she ain’t even that good looking. To say something nice, though, the helmets they wear are cool.
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Welcome
Jordan Hoffman is a New York-based writer and film critic working for The Guardian, Vanity Fair, Thrillist, Times of Israel, NY Daily News and elsewhere.
He is the host of ENGAGE: The Official Star Trek Podcast, a member of the New York Film Critics Circle and challenges you to a game of backgammon.