I’ll say what everyone else is saying. The first 45 minutes suck. Really. There’s an opening montage of NYC during the depression that is great, then 44 and a half minutes of boredom, then they get to the island. And then it is awesome. I’ve been banging my chest and going “Raaawr!” for days. Incidentally, seeing this in Queens on New Year’s Day was kind’ve like seeing this on a Greyhound Bus. Your theater companions aren’t exactly mensa candidates. You can only see a movie in Queens in the afternoon on a workday, otherwise it’s like a giant cellphone booth.
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Welcome
Jordan Hoffman is a New York-based writer and film critic working for The Guardian, Vanity Fair, Thrillist, Times of Israel, NY Daily News and elsewhere.
He is the host of ENGAGE: The Official Star Trek Podcast, a member of the New York Film Critics Circle and challenges you to a game of backgammon.
You’re learning this just now? I think if they showed The Seventh Seal in a Queens theater, that would most likely be a good excuse for a shooting … just to see if Death would show up in his black leotard and cape, and people could throw popcorn at him.
(Actually, your rule may not apply to Museum of Moving Image … but otherwise, I’m never going to attend a flick in a 718 theater. Learned this a few years back doing the same in the Bronx with that horrible Coppola remake of Dracula. Highlight for me was the woman changing diapers on her wailing baby three rows back. Knew that movie was bad when I found this more entertaining …)
No, I knew what to expect. I *only* go there during the day on weekdays, when it is mostly empty. That’s when you see your welfare dollars at work! I was most taken with the lateness of the arrivals. Twenty, thirty, forty minutes late! These movies aren’t cheap and these people aren’t millionaires! Plus, they are all carrying giant bags of popcorn. (They can’t sneak in candy from the Duane Reade?) When you are laying down that kind of coin, you figure you want to get every nickel’s worth and be there early. Unless they were hopping from screen to screen. I kinda hope they were.