These are a times of miracles and wonders…

You know, life is pretty good as it is. I have a place to sleep, a caring woman and feline waiting for me there, I have ten fingers and ten toes, I wear Klingon T-shirts to work and say things like “stop being a dick” to my boss when he’s being a dick — there isn’t much to complain about. I’m a happy guy! Who knew that just like THAT (I just snapped my fingers) my life was going to get exponentially better?

lemoncresttooth.jpg

Today I had to go to the Rite Aid to pick up some crap & I called Ann to see if we needed anything around the house. “We’re running low on toothpaste.” The toothpaste aisle is overwhelming with choices – I usually get so flustered I go for the blandest, basest selection I can find. But today this one called out to me: Crest Whitening Expressions – Lemon Ice. I don’t want to sound like a freak or anything, but I can’t stop brushing my teeth!

“It’s like Lemon Marangue Pie!” Ann shouted, as we both hovered over the sink bowl. “Greatest toothpaste ever!” I countered.

I know my grampa used to clean plaque from his mouth by swishing a handfull of gravel in his mouth, and my purchase of this product makes me tout de wuss, but I can’t hide my feelings. O! You geniuses at Crest and parent company Proctor and Gamble — I love you from my molars to my incisors!!