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And, once again, I’ve gone far too long without updating this page. This latest update represents what I caught at the Tribeca & Cannes Film Festivals – and a few things here and there. You’ll see that I watched nothing older than 2006 in a full month-and-a-half, which I find embarrassing and distasteful. (Unless I am forgetting something, which is entirely plausible.)

Pain & Gain (2013), Michael Bay, B+
Cutie and the Boxer (2013), Zachery Heinzerling, A
The English Teacher (2013), Craig Zisk, D
In the House (2013), Francois Ozon, B+
Almost Christmas (2013), Phil Morrison, C
Paradise: Love (2013), Ulrich Seidl, A
Paradise: Faith (2013), Ulrich Seidl, B
Paradise: Hope (2013), Ulrich Seidl, B
Raw Herring (2013), Leonard Retel Helmrich and Hetty Naaijkens-Retel Helmrich, B
Farah Goes Bang (2013), Meera Menon, D
The Rocket (2013), Kim Mordaunt, B+
Trust Me (2013), Clark Gregg, B
Harmony Lessons (2013), Emir Baigazin, B+
Hide Your Smiling Faces (2013), Daniel Patrick Carbone, B+
Taboor (2013), Vahid Vakilifar, C-
Bluebird (2013), Lance Edmands, A-
Some Velvet Morning (2013), Neil Labute, A-
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013), J.J. Abrams, B
Something in the Air (2013), Olivier Assayas, B+
Post Tenbras Lux (2013), Carlos Reygadas, C+
Iron Man Three (2013), Shane Black, B+
Apollo 18 (2011), Gonzalo López-Gallego, C+
This Is Not A Film (2012), Jafar Panahi and Mojtaba Mirtahmasb, C
The Island (2006), Pavel Lungin, B-
Gabi On The Roof In July (2010), Lawrence Michael Levine, C-
The Purge (2013), James DeMonaco, B-
The Great Gatsby (2013), Baz Luhrman, C-
Star Trek Into Darkness (2nd Viewing) (2013), J.J. Abrams, B
Fruitvale Station (2013), Ryan Coogler, B+
The Past (2013), Asghar Farhadi, A-
Inside Llewyn Davis (2013), Joel and Ethan Coen, A
Dance of Reality (2013), Alejandro Jodorowsky, B
The Congress (2013), Ari Folman, A-
Only God Forgives (2013), Nicholas Winding Refn, C-
All is Lost (2013), J.C. Chandor, A-
Blue is the Warmest Color (2013), Abdellatif Kechache, A
Nebraska (2013), Alexander Payne, B
Jeune et Jolie (2013), Francois Ozon, B
Only Lovers Left Alive (2013), Jim Jarmusch, A
Venus in Fur (2013), Roman Polanski, B
Bastards (2013), Clair Denis, B+
The Missing Image (2013), Rithy Panh, B+
Jodorowsky’s Dune (2013), Frank Pavich, B
Borgman (2013), Alex van Warmerdam, B+
The Immigrant (2013), James Gray, B+
Jimmy P: Psychotherapy of a Plains Indian (2013), Arnaud Desplechin, C-
My Sweet Pepper Land (2013), Hiner Saleem, B+
Nothing Bad Can Happen (2013), Katrin Gebbe, B
The Great Beauty (2013), Paolo Sorrentino, B+
The Last Days on Mars (2013), Ruairi Robinson, C
Rock the Casbah (2013), Yair Horowitz, B
Michael Kohlhaas (2013), Arnaud des Pallieres, C-
Fill the Void (2013), Rama Burshtein, B-
Hannah Arendt (2013), Margarethe von Trotta, A-
After Earth (2013), M. Night Shyamalan, B

The Legend of the Lone Ranger (1981), William A. Fraker, D
The Plot Against Harry (1969/1989), Michael Roemer, A+
Fallen Angel (1945), Otto Preminger, B+
No Place on Earth (2012), Janet Tobias, B
Jurassic Park (1993), Steven Spielberg, A
Eden (2013), Megan Griffiths, B+
Close Up (1990), Abbas Kiarostami, B+
The Traveler (1974), Abbas Kiarostami, A-
The Croods (2013), Chris Sanders, B
Blancanieves (2013), Pablo Berger, A-
Olympus Has Fallen (2013), Antoine Fuqua, B-
GI Joe: Retaliation (2013), Jon Chu, C
The Company You Keep (2013), Robert Redford, B-
Simon Killer (2013), Antonio Campos, B+
Stories We Tell (2013), Sarah Polley, B
The Host (2013), Andrew Niccol, C+
Disconnect (2013), Henry Alex Rubin, D+
Legend (1985), Ridley Scott, B-
The Angels’ Share (2013), Ken Loach, C-
The Greatest Movie Ever Rolled (2012), Ryan Polito, C
Her Master’s Voice (2012), Nina Conti, B-
Road Comics: Big Work on Small Stages (2013), Hillary Demmon and Robert Clift, D
The Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants (2013), Bryan Gaynor, D-
Women Aren’t Funny (2013), Bonnie McFarlane and Rich Vos, F
Upstream Color (2013), Shane Carruth, A
Zero Charisma (2013), Katie Graham and Andrew Matthews, A-
Awful Nice (2013), Todd Sklar, C
The World is Funny (2012), Shemi Zarhin, B
Scary Movie 5 (2013), David Zucker, C
Wake in Fright (1971), Ted Kotcheff, A-
Masters of the Universe (1987), Gary Goddard, B+
The Manor (2013), Shawney Cohen, B+
The Brass Teapot (2013), Ramaa Mosely, B-

Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Irvin Kershner, A-
Yossi and Jagger (2002), Eytan Fox, C
Robot Jox (1989), Stuart Gordon, B-
Outside Satan (2011), Bruno Dumont, C+
Admission (2013), Paul Weitz, B+
I Declare War (2013), Jason Lapeyre and Robert Wilson, B+
Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi, Richard Marquand, A-
Shrek Forever After (2010), Mike Mitchell, B-
Red Flag (2013), Alex Karpovsky, C+
Rubberneck (2013), Alex Karpovsky, B
Almost in Love (2013), Sam Neave, C
The Place Beyond the Pines (2013), Derek Cianfrance, A
Safe Haven (2013), Lasse Halstrom, D
Beautiful Creatures (2013), Richard LaGravanese, B
Like Someone in Love (2013), Abbas Kiarostami, B+
Kai Po Che! (2013), Abhishek Kapoor, C
21 & Over (2013), Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, B-
War Witch (2013), Kim Nguyen, B+
Stoker (2013), Park Chan-Wook, A-
Snitch (2013), Ric Roman Waugh, B-
Deranged (2012), Park Jung Woo, B
Philip Roth Unmasked (2013), Livia Manera and William Karel, C-
The Invisible Man (1933), James Whale, A
The Island of Lost Souls (1933), Erle C. Kenton, B
K-11 (2013), Jules Stewart, D
Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance (2002), Park Chan Wook, B+
Jack The Giant Slayer (2013), Bryan Singer, C+
Oz: The Great And Powerful (2013), Sam Raimi, B
Dead Man Down (2013), Niels Arden Oplev, D
Beyond the Hills (2013), Christian Mungiu, A

I’m gonna add something here soon. At least a list of the many, many films I’ve watched since I last updated. Just haven’t had the time. And when I have had the time, the last thing I want to do is write.

Okay, here’s the deal.

I just don’t have the time to link to all the movies I reviewed in the past 5 weeks. Sorry. All of my reviews are either at ScreenCrush, Film.com or Badass Digest.

Each of those links goes to an author page where you can, in the words of James Franco, look at my shit. Almost all of these films are reviewed at those 3 outlets. I’ll try to update this blog more regularly so putting in outbound links isn’t such a chore. Either that or get an intern.

Here’s what’s been going down.

Crystal Fairy (2013), Sebastian Silva, A-
May in the Summer (2013), Cherien Dabis, C+
Moo Man (2013), Andy Heathcote, C-
Mud (2013), Jeff Nichols, B
Pussy Riot: A Punk Prayer (2013), Mike Lerner and Maksim Posdorovkin, C
Don Jon’s Addiction (2013), Joseph Gordon-Levitt, B+
Computer Chess (2013), Andrew Bujalski, B+
Kill Your Darlings (2013), John Krokidas, A-
The Lifeguard (2013), Liz Garcia, D
S-VHS (2013), Multiple Directors, B
Aint Them Bodies Saints (2013), David Lowery, B+
The East (2013), Zal Batmanglij, B
Escape From Tomorrow (2013), Randy Moore, A
Before Midnight (2013), Rick Linklater, A
Blue Caprice (2013), Alexandre Moors, B+
The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman (2013), Frederik Bond, F
Prince Avalanche (2013), David Gordon Green, A
Upstream Color (2013), Shane Carruth, A-
Ass Backwards (2013), Chris Nelson, C
Magic Magic (2013), Sebastian Silva, A-
The Square (2013), Jehane Noujaim, A-
In a Worlds (2013), Lake Bell, C
The Spectacular (2013), James Ponsoldt, A-
Eolomea (1972), Hermann Zschoche, B
Koch (2013), Neil Barsky, B+
Side Effects (2013), Steven Soderbergh, A-
Caesar Must Die (2013), Paolo and Vittorio Taviani, A-
Warm Bodies (2013), Jonathan Levine, B
Broken City (2013), Allen Hughes, B-
A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan (2013), Roman Coppola, B-
Identity Thief (2013), Seth Gordon, D-
And Everything Is Going Fine (2010), Steven Soderbergh, B+
Like Someone In Love (2013), Abbas Kiarostami, B+

Hello.

Oh, my poor blog. Once a vibrant place, now a ghost town. Yes, I still jot down the titles and letter grades of movies I see, but that’s about it (and only once or twice a month.)

In 2013 I’m going to try and get some more activity going on in here. Of course, I don’t get paid for anything I write here, and I do make a living by placing articles elsewhere on the web, so spending TOO much time on this blog is counterproductive at best and a sign of forthcoming destitution at worse.

So, for starters, I’m going to make sure that I link to all my published work that you can find strewn about the Internet. The fact that I don’t really do that already is a bit of a failure on my part.

Here, then, are stories I placed during the month of December. I hope to do a similar round up once a week. We’ll see.

At SCREENCRUSH:
Top 20 Movies of 2012
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Review
Promised Land Review
Les Miserables Review
The Guilt Trip Review
Parental Guidance Review
The Hobbit: 6 Things We Learned After Chatting With the Cast

At FILM.COM
Quartet Review
Django Unchained Review
This is 40 Review
Stand Up Guys Review
In Our Nature Review
Report from Butt Numb-a-Thon

At BADASS DIGEST
10 Most Anticipated Movies of 2013
Deadfall Review
Beware of Mr. Baker Review

At MOVIELINE
David Cronenberg Talks ‘Cosmopolis,’ High Frame Rates, And ‘Bullshit’ Oscars
Matthew McConaughey Ready To ‘Put Those Leathers On Again’ For Awards Season And ‘Magic Mike 2′
WATCH: Trailer For ‘Upstream Color,’ From ‘Primer’ Writer-Director Shane Carruth
‘The Amazing Spider-Man 2′ First Look: Dane DeHaan Is Your New Harry Osborn
Lawbreakers, Unite: After NYFCC Awards, Is Matthew McConaughey An Oscar Contender?

At STARTREK.com
One Trek Mind #52: TNG Season Two Theatrical Event
One Trek Mind #53: Spitballing The Trailer
One Trek Mind #54: Memories Of Ezri
One Trek Mind #55: No Trouble With Tribbles

At POPULAR MECHANICS
21 Geek Movies That Hollywood Should Make Next

At TIMES OF ISRAEL
Kvelling and Kvetching with Barbra Streisand and Seth Rogen

At NEXTMOVIE.com
Most ‘Lord of the Rings’-y Moments in ‘The Hobbit’
A Fanboy Guide: How to Prepare For ‘The Hobbit’
How We’re Spending Our Christmas Break on Planet Fanboy
Planet Fanboy’s Best Moments of 2012

at THE PLAYLIST
Critical Reassessment: ‘Heaven’s Gate’ And 11 More Films That Have Been Reconsidered Over Time (contributor)

The Guilt Trip (2012), Anne Fletcher, C
Parental Guidance (2012), Andy Fickman, F
Luv (2013), Sheldon Candis, C-
Quartet (2012), Dustin Hoffman, C-
Harry and Tonto (1974), Paul Mazursky, B+
Stand Up Guys (2012), Fisher Stevens, C
Easy Rider (2012), James Benning, No Grade
Face of Another (1966), Hiroshi Teshigahara, A-
Policeman (2011), Nadav Lapid, B+
The Cut-Off Man (2012), Idan Hubel, C-
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013), John Luessenhop, C+
Numbered (2012), Dana Doron and Uriel Sinai, C+
How to Re-Establish a Vodka Empire (2012), Daniel Edelstyn, C
The Ballad of the Weeping Spring (2012), Beni Torati, B
Reconversao (2012), Thom Anderson, D
Cabaret-Berlin: The Wild Scene (2010), Fabienne Rousso-Lenoir, A-

Thor (2011), Kenneth Branagh, B+
Zero Dark Thirty (2012), Kathryn Bigelow, A
Deadfall (2012), Stefan Ruzowitzky, D
Beware of Mr. Baker (2012), Jay Bulger, A-
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012), Peter Jackson, C+
Les Miserables (2012), Tom Hooper, B
Teen Wolf (1985), Rod Daniel, B+
Broadway Melody of 1940 (1940), Norman Taurog A-
The Gang’s All Here (1943), Busby Berekley, B-
Mama (2013), Andres Muschietti, B-
Libeled Lady (1936), Jack Conway, A-
Nightmare Alley (1947), Edmund Goulding, B+
White Heat (1949), Raoul Walsh, A-
Rollerball (1975), Norman Jewison, B+
Bullet to the Head (2013), Walter Hill, D
In Our Nature (2012), Brian Savelson, D
Arbitrage (2012), Nicholas Jarecki, C-
Django Unchaines (2012), Quentin Tarantino, B+
Stand Up Guys (2012), Fisher Stevens, C
The Syrian Bride (2004), Eran Riklin, B-
Ted (2012), Seth MacFarlane, B
Fateful Findings (2012), Neil Breen, A+

Silver Linings Playbook (2012), David O. Russell, B-
Jaws (1975), Steven Spielberg, A
Mea Maxima Culpa (2012), Alex Gibney, B+
Rise of the Guardians (2012), Peter Ramsey, D
Lincoln (2012), Steven Spielberg, A
Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2012), David Gelb, C
The Haunting (1963), Robert Wise, A-
Some Came Running (1958), Vincent Minnelli, B+
Beyond the Black Rainbow (2012), Panos Cosmatos, A-
Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977), George Lucas, A-
The Day of the Jackal (1973), Fred Zinnemann, A
Of Snails and Men (2012), Tudor Giurgiu, B
Three Days Til Christmas (2012), Radu Gabrea, B
Everybody in Our Family (2012), Radu Jude, A-
Best Intentions (2012), Adrian Sitaru, B+
This is 40 (2012), Judd Apatow, B+
Promised Land (2012), Gus Van Sant, B-
Killing Then Softly (2012), Andrew Dominik, A-
Not Fade Away (2012), David Chase, B+
Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012), Benh Zeitlin, A-
Argo (2012), Ben Affleck, B+