Jordan Hoffman Dot Com

To the four readers of this blog:

Time has caught up with us.

Blogging is done. It is an antiquated form of communication. And now that Facebook has (or is about to) do away with the auto-feeding of new posts as “notes,” continuing to write here in the manner I’ve done since November of 2004 would be a waste of time.

There will still be updates, and they will come in three forms.

The first, and more frequent, will be the record-keeping of movies I’ve watched. Not to seem snobbish about it, but I’m doing it for me. I find it quite handy to take notes on what I’ve seen. I used the search function on JH.c more than you might think if I can’t remember the name of a movie, but I know generally *when* I saw it.

But I doubt I will search for great images or write more than a letter grade. I may even bundle the entries under “Films I saw this week, Nov 23,” that sort of thing.

The second will be links to articles I have published out there on the web. Again, I know I am writing to a very small, perhaps even non-existent audience, but having this record will be helpful for me.

Thirdly, and this is conjecture, there may be a handful of longform articles I want to write that I can’t find any placement for. These will not be “blog posts,” these will be actual articles. I doubt they will be frequent, but they may live here.

Also, the Star Trek Project will forever live – I’ll continue that each time I read a new Star Trek book.

Okay, signing off. It’s been real. And to paraphrase Bob Dylan, “it ain’t dead, it’s asleep.”

This is merely a grain of sand in a grand Google beach, but from all I know about SEO, if I make sure the name Rick Santorum (or even just the word Santorum) is hyperlinked to its true meaning, I will be able to sleep better tonight.

One day America will be free of homophobia and these shenanigans won’t be necessary. Until then, fuck that guy.

I can’t remember the last time I took to my blog to complain about a restaurant, but, then again, I can’t remember the last time I went to a place as horrible as Queens Comfort on 40-09 30th Ave.

I’m writing this out on my blog and not just posting to Facebook in the hopes that it is indexed high on Google. Anything I can do to deter business to this horrible place is a mitzvah.

Here are the crimes of this rancid, loathsome establishment.

1 – SO EFFING LOUD!!!!
The music is turned up to 11 – and it was good music, too – but it was so earblasting that you had to scream to hear anything. And the place was about 3/4ths empty. I love the “Safety Dance” but I’d also like to hear what my wife is saying when she’s but inches away from me.

2 – Creepy weird dudes everywhere.
I couldn’t tell who was working and who was a friend of the waitstaff. At one point I counted six people in the kitchen – one of them was eating something – none of them were wearing gloves. All of them were young looking dopes that seemed psyched to be living on off-campus housing.

One dude kept dancing (to the loud music, see above) and air-drumming behind my wife’s head. Another guy was drinking a beer.

Our waiter seemed like he had just left a methadone clinic and when I asked a question about an item on the menu, he told me to just “trust the chef.”

Another guy was laying out baked goods on a plate in front. No gloves, no wax paper.

3 – So how’s the food?
Chicken shouldn’t be red on the inside. And corn shouldn’t taste like cardboard. And a biscuit should come with, like, a pad of butter option right?

4 – But a steal?
$14 for a burger? At Shake Shack, fine, but this was just a burger with some weird stuff on it (that’s the gimmick here – nothing is normal, everything is TO THE EXTREME – in this case, a burger but with an Italian street fair sausage on it.)

I hate this place like poison. I will never go back and I intend to post similar reviews everywhere on the web in an effort to deter business so it will close and something else will open in its place. (What was wrong with the Blue Restaurant?)

Recently, with the aid of Matt Patches, I wrote a very lengthy article about the top 100 spaceships.

These two comments are side by side on Reddit.

APeacefulWarrior 1 point 1 day ago[-]
I usually hate long lists broken up like that, but I was honestly a bit impressed at how geeky the guy who wrote it was. I mean, it’s not just that he’s writing up a list of spaceships, but nearly every blurb has a coded joke poking fun at the movie it’s from.
That said, there were an awful lot of flying saucers on that list. He maybe should have stuck to a Top 50.

Aluhut 1 point 4 hours ago[-]
Let me guess: the autor looked at the starship size comparison pic and started writing up a random sentence for every one.
He did not really compare them in any way. It is not more then a list of 100 space ships.
Good job collecting the screenshots but you can forget the rest.

I just learned that Odetta died yesterday. Somehow, despite those influential years at the Bottom Line, Fast Folk Cafe and events at Town Hall, I never saw her perform live. RIP.

Dig this video about my friend Adam. I swear this is the best video you’ll see about traveling with type 1 Diabetes.

It’s the fun little feature that’s tearing up the internets. Take a look at the eloquently titled Top 50 Hottest Sci-Fi Girls.

According to Wikipedia:

Controversies

Helms was particularly vitriolic when speaking of blacks, gays and lesbians, blaming them for “the proliferation of AIDS,” and stating that he disliked using the word “gay” to refer to them since, “…there’s nothing gay about them.”
Helms opposed the Martin Luther King Day bill in 1983 on grounds that King had two associates with communist ties, Stanley Levison and Jack O’Dell; as well, he voiced disapproval of King’s alleged philandering.
Of civil rights protests Helms stated in 1963 that “The Negro cannot count forever on the kind of restraint that’s thus far left him free to clog the streets, disrupt traffic, and interfere with other men’s rights.”[6] (WRAL-TV commentary, 1963) He also wrote, “Crime rates and irresponsibility among Negroes are a fact of life which must be faced.” (New York Times, 2/8/81)
Helms’ referred to the University of North Carolina (UNC) as the “University of Negroes and Communists.” (Charleston Gazette, 9/15/95)[7]
Helms once deeply offended a black colleague, Democratic Senator Carol Moseley-Braun of Illinois, by singing part of “Dixie” on a Capitol elevator.
Soon after the Senate vote on the Confederate flag insignia, Sen. Jesse Helms (R.-N.C.) ran into Mosely-Braun in a Capitol elevator. Helms turned to his friend, Sen. Orrin Hatch (R.-Utah), and said, “Watch me make her cry. I’m going to make her cry. I’m going to sing ‘Dixie’ until she cries.” He then proceeded to sing the song about “the good life” during slavery to Mosely-Braun (Gannett News Service, 9/2/93; Time, 8/16/93).[7]
While working on the 1950 campaign of Republican Willis Smith against Democrat Frank Porter Graham, Helms helped create an ad that read “White people, wake up before it is too late. Do you want Negroes working beside you, your wife and your daughters, in your mills and factories? Frank Graham favors mingling of the races.” Another ad featured photographs Helms himself had doctored to illustrate the allegation that Graham’s wife had danced with a black man. (FAIR 9/1/01, The News and Observer 8/26/01)
Helms was an ardent supporter of the late Chile dictator Augusto Pinochet.[8]
When Roberta Achtenberg was appointed Assistant Secretary of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development in 1993 by President Bill Clinton, Helms attempted to block her confirmation, stating that he refused to vote for her “because she’s a damn lesbian.”
After a protest during his 1986 visit to Mexico, Helms opined: “All Latins are volatile people. Hence, I was not surprised at the volatile reaction.” [1]
In 1994 Helms spoke out against metal industrial singer Marilyn Manson. Manson responded by painting an anti-gay slur on his chest during a show in Winston-Salem, in a sarcastic and critical display against Helms’s social viewpoints.
Hendrik Hertzberg of The New Yorker noted in his memoirs that Helms had “the ‘humorous habit’” of calling all black people “Fred”.
Helms used race issues in many elections; for instance, in 1990, he ran the famous “Hands” television ad in a tough re-election race. The ad has become legendary in Southern political circles as the most direct appeal to white backlash in modern American politics. The ad played upon white voters’ ideas that affirmative action might lead to a job going to a less-qualified candidate (”Gantt supports Ted Kennedy’s racial quota law, that makes the color of your skin more important than your qualifications.”) (watch the ad).
Helms opposed an amendment offering war reparations to Japanese-Americans who had been interned during World War II; he proposed an amendment stipulating that no reparations would be made unless the Japanese government compensated the families of Americans killed at Pearl Harbor.
In 1994, Helms created a sensation when, on the anniversary of John F. Kennedy’s assassination, he told broadcasters Rowland Evans, Jr., and Robert Novak that Clinton was “not up” to the tasks of being commander-in-chief and suggested that Clinton had “better not show up around here [Fort Bragg] without a bodyguard.”[9]
Helms was a strong supporter of drug prohibition, and opposed former Massachusetts Governor Bill Weld’s nomination as Ambassador to Mexico because Weld supported medical marijuana.[2] Helms proposed several bills as part of the war on drugs.[10]
Helms once claimed that “The New York Times and Washington Post are both infested with homosexuals themselves. Just about every person down there is a homosexual or lesbian.”[11]

Dude made some shitty movies, but he made some good ones, too. They Shoot Horses, Don’t They especially and, of course, this scene – one of the best you’ll find anywhere.

You were a tomato!

I’m not the only one blogging in this house. You can check out Ann’s interpretation of events over at Banana Soup, by going to banana2goober.blogspot.com.

He drinks it up!

Very entertaining report in Variety.

Now if only I can get Leonard Nimoy to read my witty comments about Pon Faar.

Maybe, but not for me.

Not the best rendition, but the only one I could find on YouTube.

Is Chris Pine Kirk-worthy? The jury is out.

Please say hello to Olivia Aldrin Rozger and Phoebe Beckett Rozger. As the one responsible for the meeting of Jason and Melissa, I anticipate a full ten percent of their gross as this pair of tall blonde girls commences to make a fortune – first in cereal commercials, then a bit part in a remake of The Shining, then, eventually, wacky romantic comedies aimed at Tweens.

A summit of some of my favorite New Yorkers: The Levys took their Panorama Challenge to the Brian Lehrer Show.

The MP3 is available below. It’s awesome.

For a made-for-cable movie this is pretty damned good. It gets talky at times, but the “discourse,” if you will, isn’t dumbed down that much. This is more The West Wing than A Man Called Horse. Indeed, one of its strongest attributes is how much it downplays the imagery of soaring eagles or meditative great spirits that seems to be a necessity in every other film I’ve ever seen about Native Americans. This is (for the most part) played straight and its a better film for it.

(best part about this is the use of the word “douche.” From La Voir.)

BODY/ANTIBODY
(États-Unis, Kerry Douglas Dye et Jordan Hoffman)

Body/Antibody de Kerry Douglas Dye et Jordan Hoffman.

Body/Antibody de Kerry Douglas Dye et Jordan Hoffman.
Obsessif-compulsif, Kip (Robert Gomes) ne quitte presque jamais son appartement de Manhattan, qu’il nettoie à répétition. Lui-même se douche cinq fois par jour et se lave parfois tellement les mains qu’elles en saignent. Lorsqu’il rencontre Celine (Leslie Kendall), une nouvelle voisine de palier, sa petite vie rangée se voit chamboulée. Le scénario est inspiré des propres expériences de Kerry Douglas Dye, qui souffrait d’une peur maladive des germes jusqu’à ce que cette dernière soit surpassée par son désir de contact sexuel. Ceci donne d’abord lieu à une comédie romantique joliment tordue, qui glisse graduellement vers le film noir, alors que l’ex violent (Frank Deal) de Celine débarque et pousse Kip à faire des trucs particulièrement salissants! À la fois drôle, sexy et troublant, Body/Antibody mérite que vous sortiez de votre appartement pour aller le voir. (30-31 août; 2-3 sept.)