Sin Nombre (2009), Cary Joji Fukunaga, A-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Monday, November 16th, 2009

sin_nombre.JPG

A frightening fantasy film about a horrible, lawless, far off land called Mexico.

What? It’s real. Oy vey!

It’s movies like this that will guilt me into giving up my seat to every tired looking immigrant I see on the subway.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937), David Hand et al, A

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Sunday, November 15th, 2009

SnowWhite3

It really holds up.

And is incredibly offensive to women, Dwarfs, woodland animals. . .you name it!

Caprica (2009), Jeremy Reiner, C+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Sunday, November 15th, 2009

caprica2
Meh.

No new ideas. The holodeck is not a new idea. Nor is downloaded, post-human immortality. And the CGI looks pretty shoddy.

I hope the series improves on the pilot DVD.

Deep Impact (1998), Mimi Leder, B-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, November 14th, 2009

deepimpact

In the build-up to 2012 I could no longer live with myself knowing I’d never seen Deep Impact.

It isn’t bad – well, yeah, I guess it is a little bad – but it gets points for trying.

The problem, and I believe filmmakers (other than Emmerich) are starting to realize this, is that the cast of a thousand formula can never be taken seriously. Deep Impact tries to be serious, and works up until the Astronauts show up. Then it is a total mess. Kerry Douglas Dye would never allow a screenplay so messy to leave his apartment.

2012 (2009), Roland Emmerich, C-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, November 14th, 2009

Tell No One (2008), Guillaume Canet, C

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Monday, November 9th, 2009

tell_no_one_2006

Everyone loves this movie but me.

Imagine The Big Sleep but ten times more confusing but one tenth as charming.

Plot, plot, plot gets shoved in your face – then everything gets explained, but then re-explained for real. The end.

And no Humphrey Bogart. In fact, no characters at all to really care about – just a racing, baffling plot. Okay, a cute dog.

Maybe when the American producers remake it (as is supposedly happening) they’ll whip it into some shape. As it stands, it is confusing, fast and French enough to trick people into thinking it is art. In fact, it makes no sense.

Meteor (1979), Ronald Neame, C-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Monday, November 9th, 2009

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Even by the standards of bad, cast of a thousand stars disaster pics this is a joke.

Odd is that Neame made so many great films – even a descent cast of a thousand stars disaster pic! (Juggernaut.)

Well, Henry Fonda, Martin Landau, Natalie Wood, Sean Connery, Karl Malden and others face a big rock. Then they all swim in chocolate milk. The Swarm kicks its ass.

Pixar Short Films Collection Vol. 1 (2007), John Lassiter et. al., B+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Sunday, November 8th, 2009

forthebirds

The early shorts are great for a historical perspective but, alas, they are a bit of a bore.

Things don’t get cookin’ til 1989’s Knick Knack (the one with the SnoGlobe.)

Even though I’ve never seen Cars, I found myself greatly enjoying the Cars-short Mater and the Ghost Light, but that may have just been because it was 1 AM and I was getting giddy.

Taken and (see above) For The Birds kick a whole lot of ass, too.

Look forward to Vol II – the cloud short from Up is pretty fantastic.

The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (2007), Andrew Dominik, A

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Sunday, November 8th, 2009

assassination

In 2007 I named this my number 1 film – over Sunshine, There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men.

I’m not 100% I would make that statement again, but I still think it is one hell of a picture.

It is beautiful, it is complex, the performances are fantastic and the dialogue hums. It definitely looses something on DVD, even if you have a super HD television.

There are rumblings out there of this becoming the cult success it deserves – in a few more years, I imagine, it will be recognized as a masterpiece.

Battlestar Galactica: The Plan (2009), Edward James Olmos, B

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Sunday, November 8th, 2009

bikx8k

Far be it from me to look a gift horse in the mouth, but even the most dedicated BSG fans will have to admit this is an altogether unnecessary coda to a show that is, we must face facts, done done done.

Ostensibly an opportunity to see the whole series from “another point of view,” but, really, that isn’t the case. Blame that on the fact that the show was well written enough to begin with.

A hodge-podge of classic clips and new material – this is 100% for fans only and will be completely baffling to someone coming to it fresh.

I enjoyed it, I agree, but if I paid for this I’d feel a little used. It’s like buying a new greatest hits CD for one new track.

The Men Who Stare At Goats (2009), Grant Heslov, C-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Friday, November 6th, 2009

For more, go here.

The Box (2009), Richard Kelly, B+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Friday, November 6th, 2009

For more, go here.

Futurama: Into The Wild Green Yonder (2009), Peter Avanzido, B+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Thursday, November 5th, 2009

1

Better than Bender’s Game but not as good as Bender’s Big Score or The Beast With A Billion Backs.

I love, love, love Futurama, but if it ended here, well, that might be a good place for it. I question if bringing the band back together as the rumors have it right now is a good idea.

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009), Wes Anderson, A-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

The Fourth Kind (2009), Olatunde Osunsanmi, D

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

The Whitest Kids U Know, Season 1 (2007), Trever Moore, Zach Cregger, B+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

0

Some real stupid and, at times, angry stuff. Worth checking out.

Silent Hill (2006), Christophe Gans, C-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

silent_hill

I dunno. For some reason, three years after it came out, I suddenly decided I had to see this movie. The dude has a pyramid for a head after all.

Well – much of the imagery is tremendous, I must concede, but there really is next to nothing else going on. Kind’ve a shame.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974), Tobe Hooper, D

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

142224__texas_chainsaw_l

This might very well be the last very famous movie I’ve never seen. Well, had never seen before last night. I watched it last night. It’s garbage.

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