Jordan Hoffman Dot Com

Ha! I just realized that I never blogged about The Expendables, which I saw months ago.

Shows you how much it stayed with me, huh?

You can read my full disappointed review at UGO.

At NYU there were always these international students who had gobs of money that made these gorgeous, very emotional student films. This is like the grandaddy of them all.

Comparing a feature to a student film may sound like an insult, but I mean it in the best way possible. Indeed, the film is about an 18 year old – and a very well-cultured one at that.

It is operatic and epic and a little precious and has a somewhat unrealistic portrayal of the world of the arts, but it makes me nostalgic for discovering European Art Cinema for the first time. Fantastic music, too.

Maybe I’m projecting on to it, but I think it is, what some people call, “a gem.”

A really long episode of Murder, She Wrote.

I imagine the book is better (and expect more from David Fincher’s version.)

A very by-the-numbers conspiracy film with two really good moments of shocking action and (I’ll say it) a good performance by Mel Gibson.

Still, though – fuck that guy. Don’t watch this movie if it in any way involves money leaving your pocket.

John Byrne has completed his short run of this Easter Egg-loaded series of McCoy’s adventures just prior to TMP.

Just look at that cover up there and you’ll see what kind of fun this is.

Byrne is writing Trek comics right now for the hardcore fans and this one, including a moments shared between Number One and Christine Chapel, might be the one that takes the hasperat.

I never buy variant covers, but I bought these. Because they are awesome and hysterical.

Trip bangs T’Pol.

Some other stuff happens, too.

Stone cold yes.

Archer continues to go BSG and think about just how he plans to defeat the Xindi. He capitalizes on a lucky break and puts Degra through an Inception-like rigamarole to try and get secrets from him.

After many reversals he succeeds and, best, sets him loose none the wiser for possible future benefit. That is hardcore. This is quite possibly the best Enterprise episode yet.

I hate to make such definitive statements, but I feel secure with this one: The Other Guys has the best Little River Band joke in the history of cinema.

Read the rest of my review at UGO.com.

I almost recommend this film for this dubious distinction: rarely has a movie gone from so good to so bad in such record time.

The first hour of this film is a droll, character-based story about a man spun around by the bewitching ways of woman.

Then it becomes a far-fetched psychological drama, filled with irrational character motivation and violence. The movie jumps but lands poorly, making the rest of the film crash around it. The ending has no weight and the only reasonable response is to shrug the whole thing off. What a shame. Had they stuck with light comedy, it would have been a success.

It may surprise you, considering how vocal I was about the awful M. Night Shyamalan film, that I’d heretofore only seen the first season.

I’ve finally finished Season Two and I am still very much an admirer of this show.

Everything good about Season One just gets richer as the characters get more in depth and the stakes get raised.

Two episodes in particular – one filled with micro-stories about all the characters adapting to life in Ba Sing Se, the other about Appa’s capture and time on the run – take half-hour kid-friendly animation to artistic levels never seen anywhere else.

I’m in no rush to complete Season Three. I don’t want this to end.

I saw this movie at the Angelika Film Center (when it was called Zentropa) a few months before my freshman year at NYU. I haven’t seen it since, but it’s amazing what I remembered and what I didn’t.

I remembered all the formal elements: the mix of color and B&W, the use of rear projection, Max von Sydow’s voice over. I only vaguely remembered the story and – watching it now and knowing what a prick von Trier is – I can’t help but interpret it, a bit, as a bit of Fascist apology. But that’s just what he wants me to think.

The mission statement was to marry Hitchcock to Tarkovsky and that is done in spades. It’s also a fairly neat yarn with some good performances (and some comedy, to boot.)

Who’d'a thunk it at the time, but this remains something of a milestone.

Right on the heels of GL’s Agent Orange is this final pre-Blackest Night arc from the GL Corps.

There’s a riot in the sciencells, Arisia and Sodam Yat fight Mongul and the Sinestro Corps on Daxam, Soranik Natu learns the truth about her father and Kyle and Guy stand-up to the Alpha Lanterns – even if it means protecting the life of (now Red Lantern) Bolphunga the Unrelenting.

Read that sentence again.

Now ask me why I love the Green Lantern Corps.

Even though I am only giving this movie a “C+” I want to make it clear that I am a little bit fascinated by it.

The movie starts out really quite strong – with two lengthy dialogue sequences between Asia Argento and Michael Madsen that are quite terrific. And then – it’s as if someone tapped Assayas on the shoulder and said, “wrap this up.”

The movie spins out of control in every possible fashion, turning into a boring crime picture – and an inept one at that. I’ll give someone a dollar if they can honestly tell me they knew what the hell was going on in the second half of the film – and intentional disorientation – while a valid form of expression – is only earned in the best filmmaking scenarios. This isn’t one of them.

Argento is a really interesting actress – and I’m not just saying that because she is flashing a gun at her genitals in this poster and spends much of the movie in her underwear. She has genuine charisma and a very unique manner about her. I don’t know why she isn’t a bigger star in America. Maybe she doesn’t want to be.

An absolute victory of an arc – the final one of the straight GL comics before the start of “Blackest Night.”

Hal Jordan runs afoul of yet ANOTHER color in the emotional spectrum: the orange light of insatiable avarice.

The will of Green must forge with the hope of Blue to. . . .oh, who cares, show me some crazy aliens and pour gobs of fluorescent ink on the page! And a giant blue sage elephant-warrior!

This is one of the most fun GL books out there.

Picking up nicely where Emerald Dawn, the Vol. 3 origin tale of the early 1990s, left off, it is time for Hal Jordan to a) face the music of his drunk driving and b) begin to learn that Sinestro is a persnickety dick.

Tremendous fun – while still a little bit of a Gee Golly Gosh holdout from the Silver Age, but still dazzling in its trippy space cops storyline.

I like being in the minority once in a while. Read one of the few positive reviews for Dinner For Shmucks on UGO.

Where do cartoons become animation? Right here.
Read my review for Batman: Under the Red Hood at UGO.