Jordan Hoffman Dot Com

If The West Wing married The BBC’s The Office and was directed by Robert Altman, it might’ve looked something like this.

Pretty fantastic stuff.

The Resident Evil should win some sort of award for least-interested-in-actual-story chutzpah.

I’ve seen three of these movies and still can’t tell you anything about this “world.”

These movies are insanely popular in Japan. They aren’t unenjoyable to watch.

I’m most impressed with this film’s ability to have its beignet and eat it too.

Can’t wait til its ultra PC backlash hits.

I’m not the world’s biggest Guillermo Del Toro fan, but I can’t deny this is a truly great film. I’ve been kinda avoiding it for three years but, yes, it’s damned good. Now everyone can leave me alone.

I want to apologize to this movie for thinking it was merely great and giving it an A-. I now realize it is one of the three or four best movies of this decade.

If I say I’m an oil man, you will agree.

I love when the characters on Voyager treat The Doctor like a computer program. ‘Cause that’s what he is. Robert Picardo may be the best actor of the bunch, but The Doctor is just beams of light, man.

That doesn’t mean he can’t want to save the day or have Seven of Nine be totally hot for him.

This is a *great* Doctor episode – it has its cake and eats it, too. Plus the baddies they encounter this week, the Hierarchy, are pretty great, too.

Voyager gets a Klingon story! Ronald D. Moore’s other Voyager episode (he shares a Story By credit) introduces the flip to StoVoKor, Gre’thor, as well as giving B’Ellana Torres her best storyline.

In this episode you’ll see Tuvok handle a Bat’leth like nobody’s business and you’ll see The Doctor and Seven of Nine harmonize to the Klingon Drinking Song championing Kahless the Unforgettable. Awe-some.

Ronald D. Moore’s only solo Voyager script and it’s a good one.

Firstly, some life is breathed into the show by having them spacedock and meet a bunch of interesting races. Amond the traders, three former Borg drones who have a serious bone to pick with designation Seven of Nine Tertiary Adjunct Unimatrix 01, as is explained in some interesting flashback scenes.

A little DS9 vibe pops in as the closing credits brings an ambiguous ending. Could Season Six bring a whole new vibe to Voyager? Not quite. Apparently, RDM and Brannon Braga never quite saw eye to eye and the collaboration fell apart.

Jesus Christ, will someone shut Chakotay up?

Kirk had Spock, Picard had Riker, Sisko had Kira, Adama had Tigh – and Janeway gets stuck with this chump. He is the worst second-in-command ever.

Anyway, Chakotay issues aside, Janeway manages to get Seven Of Nine and The Doctor back from the bad guys, as well as restore some peace with the interdimensional slug/energy monsters. Plus she gets a few new redshirts for the lower decks. Way to kick off a new season.

Before L.I.C. was hip, it witnessed a battle of 80s New Wave Immortals!

Surprisingly, the giddy fun of Highlander and some of the zings make up for the absurd plot and cheeseball effects. I’ll be damned if this doesn’t hold up. (And if Sean Connery isn’t the weak link.)

There can be only one!

Even though it is distant, quiet and maybe even at times inert, I must say I was strangely fascinated during most of this film.

A decision was made to make it look like an old, decaying photo – which is cool at first, but eventually leads to eye strain. Seriously. Everything is hazy and brown – and since this is shot on video it is even more striking.

It’s funny – I know next to nothing about Emperor Hirohito, so I can’t tell you how true this movie is. But it is hard not to compare this to Olivier Hirschbiegel’s Downfall. In that film, Hitler rants and raves til he becomes an Internet meme. In this film, Hirohito quietly studies marine biology.

After all the high school nonsense of Twilight and New Moon, I had a desire to stay in that world, but actually see something good.

I hadn’t seen Elephant since the theaters in 2003, when I called it (I think) the best movie of the year.

It still holds up, if maybe I gushed a little too much the first time.

John Byrne’s long, serpentine post-Balance of Terror Romulan tale is now complete.

An epic tale of vengeance, betrayal and dynasty happened after Kirk’s run-in with that ol’ Warbird and none of us ever knew it.

The Klingons (and the Organian treaty) and Number (now Commodore) One are involved, as are John Byrne’s brightly colored panels.

This is deep dish Trek nerddom here – and recommended for folks who really know their shit.

For a less jokey written review Go here.

I feel a little bad dismissing something that is so beloved by so many, but this movie really is junk.

Some of the scenes – the ones with the friends in the lunchroom, or hanging with the vampire family – have a little spark of originality. The rest is just a drag.

In a few years, everyone will look back on these movies and laugh about them the way we laugh about Vanilla Ice.

A frightening fantasy film about a horrible, lawless, far off land called Mexico.

What? It’s real. Oy vey!

It’s movies like this that will guilt me into giving up my seat to every tired looking immigrant I see on the subway.

Northlanders 17 is one of my favorite one-shot comics of all time. It’s actually the one that got me all into Northlanders in the first place.

It has no plot – simply a description of two Vikings in the middle of an honor fight to the death. The detailed narration that comes along with it is a perfect snapshot of the Viking culture that is at the heart elsewhere in Brian Wood’s stories. It is simple and perfect and Vasilis Lolos’ artwork is absolutely mesmerizing in its subtlety.

Anyone who thinks comics can’t be high art needs to take a look at this. (You can see much of it here if you don’t believe me.)

18-19 tells the story of a trio of women who must step up and defend themselves against some horrible Christians and 20 brings back our favorite Sven of Orkney, now hidden up in the Faroe Islands, letting his legend grow so strong some knuckleheads dare to try and kill him for glory.

Issue 21 begins an 8-issue arc. More on that as it completes.