The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974), Tobe Hooper, D

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

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This might very well be the last very famous movie I’ve never seen. Well, had never seen before last night. I watched it last night. It’s garbage.

Gentlemen Broncos (2009), Jared Hess, D

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

Fata Morgana (1971), Werner Herzog, A

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Monday, October 26th, 2009

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When I first saw this film I gave it a B+, probably because I just didn’t know what to expect. This time, however, I was really blown away. Considering this came out a full decade before Koyanisqaatsi, this film deserves to be more well known.

Ghosts of Mars (2001), John Carpenter, C+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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Mildly entertaining, but when you compare it to The Thing or Assault on Precinct 13 it just makes you realize how low Carpenter has sunk.

Bad Lieutenant (1992), Abel Ferrara, B

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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Better than I remember, but still a fundamentally joyless, humorless affair. And what’s with all the wailing? Put Keitel in this against Eric Roberts in Pope of Greenwich Village and see who wins! I’m all for a performer laying it all out on the line, but, come on, a director needs to go in there and reel them back sometimes.

Anyway – not a bad film – and points for its economic script – but not quite worth the cult following.

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009), Werner Herzog, A-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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I’m stunned by how much I liked this.

A real review (and other coverage) is coming.

Contact (1997), Robert Zemeckis, A

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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It is hard to believe the clown who is about to suck up the joint with A Christmas Carol ever made a movie as good as this.

There may have been a time when I thought this movie was perfect – but I can’t deny that the music is overbearing, some of the effects at the end are a little lame (although most are still absolutely stunning,) James Woods’ performance is completely one-dimensional and, well, fundamentally, Matthew McConaughey is a problem. But. . . .put all that aside.

Can you believe this was a major Hollywood release? What balls! Audacity from top to bottom. And really fucking smart. (Although, if I may nitpick, why don’t they just stick someone else in the big ball & see if that person goes to a wormhole, too? Or is that covered and I missed it?)

When you are trying to make a movie about The Universe, you are bound to stumble. So eff me for pointing out the flaws. This is a great movie that makes me proud to be human. And the sound effects are awesome. And so is William Fichtner.

And so is Jodie Foster! She shoulda retired after this and ended on a perfect note.

What You Leave Behind, DS9 7

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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It’s over. It’s all over.

Somewhat hard to put into words how I feel about this. If Trek is my hobby, my silly passion, my extra curricular activity, and the second-half of DS9 is its apex then this all must have some kind of meaning.

Sure, there are the Season 8 “novels” but they aren’t the same.

Revisiting DS9 like I’ve done in The Star Trek Project has been a true rewarding experience for me. And while Voyager and Enterprise may have some highlights for me, I know that it is basically downhill from here.

Like Jake, I’ll be staring out the window from the Promenade at the Celestial Temple, wishing it could all come back.

The Dogs of War, DS9 7

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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Damar will fight! And Garak and Kira will help him?

All loose ends are waiting to get tied up (as is the Dominion War) but not before Zek and Moogie split for Risa, leaving Rom (not Quark) as the Grand Nagus.

Equinox Part I, VOY 5

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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Voyager finds her Pegasus – it is the Equinox, with John Savage’s Captain Ransom as Admiral Cane.

They, too, got zapped to the Delta Quadrant by the Caretaker, but they are getting back By Any Means Necessary. Even if it means draining the life-juice out of intra-dimensional slime monsters.

Extreme Measures, DS9 7

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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This is the only part of the final DS9 arcs that dips in quality. It goes way way into almost Dr. Who-like territory as Bashir and O’Brien run around Sloane’s (from Section 31) memories. Yeah – kinda lame.

But the rest of the pieces of the puzzle are still fitting into place.

Warhead, VOY 5

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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To me, this one kinda feels like a TNG-type episode, but it still works.

A smart bomb that is sentient – and determined to fulfill its mission.

Nice acting by Robert Picardo who “becomes” the bomb – and good to see Harry Kim take some responsibility here. Also: Janeway proving that, when she has to, she can place every confidence in her crew.

Tacking Into The Wind, DS9 7

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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Worf! Worf! Worf! Worf!

Relativity, VOY 5

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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Yay, time travel episodes are fun!

Boo, time travel episodes make no sense!

When it Rains. . ., DS9 7

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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Odo is getting sicker, Bashir realizes Section 31 is behind it, Dukat goes blind from the Pah-Wraiths and Gowron usurps Martok with his banana bread military policy.

11:59, VOY 5

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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I understand. It’s an opportunity for Kate Mulgrew to prove she can act. Like when they let Avery Brooks or Patrick Stewart direct. All it really does is show off how shitty the backlot sets are.

Not a terrible episode, but not particularly good or believable one, either. Other than Assignment: Earth and The Voyage Home, Trek has never done “now” all that well.

The Changing Face of Evil, DS9 7

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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Everyone is on the offensive!

The Breen attack Starfleet Headquarters. Damar is scheming against Weyoun. Dukat has fully infiltrated Kai Winn. And the Federation/Klingons/Vulcans charge in Chin’toka (only to leave the Reliant behind in pieces.)

Someone To Watch Over Me, VOY

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Sunday, October 25th, 2009

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Never in the history of popular entertainment has their been a better sexual fantasy for maladjusted nerds. Behold Seven of Nine, so ridiculously sexualized and yet completely pure – an absolute tigress of alpha signifiers, but a complete neophyte in human interaction. In a nutshell: she’s so clueless she’d think your three inch cock and inarticulate fumblings were the masterstrokes of an intergalactic Casanova.

Anyway, this is the episode where the hologram and the robot chick fall in love. Awwwww.

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