Field of Fire, DS9 7

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Saturday, September 12th, 2009

fleet-insignia51111.giffleet-insignia51111.giffleet-insignia51111.gif

Ezri_summons_Joran

Trek goes CSI in this kinda dopey episode that has a few things going for it. One, it brings back Joran Dax (the secret Dax) and Two, it brings Vulcans to DS9. And has some cool weapons.

Most shocking discovery for me: I’ve actually retained a few Trill vocabulary words!!

Why Ezri is put in charge of finding the killer instead of Odo is beyond me, but, well, there it is.

Whiteout (2009), Dominic Sena, D

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 12th, 2009

whiteout-kate-beckinsale

Terrible.

You can read this review or watch this video.

Battlestar Galactica Origins: Baltar

Jordan | Cram it in Your Ear | Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

tnbsgorigbaltartpbcov.jpgFrom his humble origins as a math nerd on the farm, to his college years, to his years in politics until, finally, his seduction in “The Plan,” you can gain a little more insight into Dr. Gaius Baltar with this book.Well – not too much insight. It is pretty surface stuff, frankly. But, still, anything about these awesome characters is welcome. Fun, quick read (1 subway ride!)

Boondock Saints (1999), Troy Duffy, C+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Monday, September 7th, 2009

boondock-saints-1999-willem-dafoe-pic-6.jpgWhen Willem Dafoe eats the scenery it STAYS eaten. He’s awesome. The script is asinine and, probably, immoral. Kinda fun.

The Room (2003), Tommy Wiseau, ?

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Monday, September 7th, 2009

polaroid-21.jpg

Oh. Hi, Mark.

I can’t tell you what I thought of this movie. I can say, though, I am glad I saw this at the Hell Gate Social’s backyard film series with a non-virgin audience talking back to the screen.

Oh. Hi, Denny.

Bliss, VOY 5

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Monday, September 7th, 2009

fleet-insignia51111.gif

qatai_defiant.jpg

The whole crew is duped into thinking a big space whale is actually a wormhole back home.

Kinda dumb, and it concludes with the space whale vomiting the ship back out.

Naomi Wildman is probably the only decent thing about this episode – and she’s awful.

If I were Kate Mulgrew I’d hate this episode – it makes Captain Janeway look dumb, even if it isn’t her fault.

The Emperor’s New Cloak, DS9 7

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Monday, September 7th, 2009

fleet-insignia51111.giffleet-insignia51111.giffleet-insignia51111.giffleet-insignia51111.gif

darkezri.jpg

Once more to the Mirror Universe! And this time we’re taking Nog – the only one to finally point out that the damned place really doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

We also meet Ezri (not)Dax, who proves that hair and makeup can totally change an actor – in this case for the better. She looks pretty good all Joan Jett-ed up, as the above photo proves. When we discover that she is of the Sapphic persuasion (first Intendant Kira, than Leeta) it is left to The Grand Nagus Zek to declare that “this is an interesting place.”

Gravity, VOY 5

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Monday, September 7th, 2009

fleet-insignia51111.giffleet-insignia51111.gif

292px-noss.jpg

Trapped in a “spatial sinkhole,” Paris and Tuvok muse fend for themselves, where they meet a nasal-voiced alien who tries to love her way past a cold Vulcan exterior.

Not that good, although timelapse differentials make months for us seem like just a day for the crew of the Voyager. Lucky them.

Bride of Chaotica!, VOY 5

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Monday, September 7th, 2009

fleet-insignia51111.giffleet-insignia51111.giffleet-insignia51111.giffleet-insignia51111.gif

06b5.jpg

Just when I say I am sick to death of holodeck episodes, one like this comes along.

A big wet smooch to cheesy sci-fi, the crew must role play as Captain Proton to, uh, save the day.

A tin can robot shouts “Intruders from the Fifth Dimension!”

This is one of the few Voyager episodes I can guarantee you I’ll watch again.

Green Lantern: Tales of the Sinestro Corps

Jordan | Cram it in Your Ear | Monday, September 7th, 2009

409645-129330-sinestro-corps-war_super.jpg

Here’s some crazy-ass one shots set during the Sinestro Corps War that, actually, might be more fun that the actual text itself.

Some real nerd-ass shit including pages and pages (and pages) of roll-call material. Did you know that there were members of the Green Lantern Corps that were whole planets? Bacteria? Sentient mathematical equations? Ooh, yeah, this is the shit.

If you want to read sentences like: “There is a dark Underverse to the Multiverse known as the Anti-Matter Universe,” then you truly must pick up this book.

Tony Manero (2009), Pablo Larrain, B+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 5th, 2009

tony_manero_affiche.jpg

I remember seeing Emir Kusturica’s Underground, liking it, then admitting that if I knew anything about Balkan history, I probably would have understood it better. Same goes for Tony Manero, which, I’m sure, is some kind of allegory for American intervention in Chilean politics. . . .I just don’t really get it.

On a more shallow level, however, kudos to Tony Manero for telling an unpredictable tale about an obsessed Saturday Night Fever freak who will kill anything in his path from achieving his goal of imitating the film. A group of prostitutes and criminals (or are they political leaflet distributors?) aid him (kinda) as he figures out a way to make a scummy bar look like 2001.

This sounds very droll, but it isn’t. It is 100% straight and ugly and has one or two shockingly vulgar moments.

One of the odder films I’ve seen in a while. Not really “fun,” but big points for strangeness.

Observe and Report (2009), Jody Hill, B-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 5th, 2009

observe-and-report-security-guards.jpg

It saddens me to report that Observe and Report falls flat for me. Especially considering that two dudes whose opinions I truly trust (Parker Ward and Devin Faraci) went apeshit for this flick. I see why they liked it. . . but I couldn’t get past what I felt were some major pacing hurdles.

I have no inside info, but I fault studio involvement. They wanted another Knocked Up and tried to make this regular-funny. Silly stingers, jokes about clothes. There’s a dark novel in here trying to get out. I’m not sure a studio-released picture was the way to go to tell this story.

Still – many funny bits & great use of Queen’s “Flash Gordon” soundtrack.

There was some brouhaha at release about Observe and Report making light of rape. I’ve watched the film and I reject that. The scene in question does nothing to glamorize rape. Ann watched it and laughed and she’s my arbiter of taste.

You wanna get worked up about glamorizing rape? Someone please boycott Gamer. There’s a movie that everyone can agree is offensive.

Countdown (1968), Robert Altman, B

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 5th, 2009

51f068d0r9l_sl500_aa280_.jpg

I don’t really know what I was expecting – but I wasn’t expecting this.

Don’t let my “B” grade fool you – I am fascinated by this movie. (Just because it isn’t all that good doesn’t mean that it won’t be something I obsess over.)

Plot-wise – it is set during the run up to Apollo. Looks like the Commies will get their Moon Shot up first (never really a possibility, but whatever) so a secret project Pilgrim is launched – spit a man to the moon & leave him there til Apollo gets him a year from now.

Robert Duvall has the training, but can’t be the man because he has a military background (more hogwash.) James Caan is a civilian – but he’s also a bit of a whiny dingus.

And this is the truly shocking thing about this movie. It would appear that the production had the full cooperation of NASA. There are shots of actual capsules and rockets and crazy-ass looking radar dishes. . . but the movie makes NASA look like shit – like a bunch of backstabbers. Unbelievable!

The other funny thing about this movie is that it is a fairly straight film, but you can see moments of Altman’s nascent style peeking through – with some of the more actorly scenes anyway. (Plus Michael Murphy is in it.)

This is a must see for people fascinated with the Space Race, the late 1960s, Robert Altman or weird movies in general.

The Amazing Screw-On Head (2006), Chris Prynoski, B+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 5th, 2009

theamazingscrewonhead.jpg

Steampunk plus Zombies plus Abraham Lincoln through a Monty Python lens drawn by Mike Mignola.

Fun.

And at 22 minutes, better than any of the Guillermo Del Toro nonsense in those dull Hellboy movies.

Extract (2009), Mike Judge, B+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 5th, 2009

extract.jpg

I liked it. Not as funny as Office Space, but a better movie – if that makes any sense.

Read my full review at UGO

Orphan (2009), Jaume Collet-Serra, B+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 5th, 2009

the-orphan-movie.jpg

Dumbass script, but made entirely fun by terrific performances and “adult” shooting style – by which I mean no crazy ass cuts or mucked up shutter speeds. Best straight horror flick of 2009? Yeah, probably.

Carnal Knowledge (1971), Mike Nichols, A-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 5th, 2009

carnalknowledge2.jpg

Not too get too heavy, but I’ve seen problems of sex addiction screw more people up than drug abuse. It’s a topic that is rarely discussed. (It’s also why I like the movie Auto Focus.)

Anyway, when I first saw Carnal Knowledge in college I saw it as a condemnation of men. Now I realize that the women are not victims in this movie – they are willing accomplices in this tragedy, just less demonstrative.

It’s a bleak, dark picture – and might very well be the best thing Jules Feiffer or Mike Nichols have ever done. Nichols is at his most cinematically experimental. You hardly notice that the movie is almost a play, set in rooms and over telephones with minimal cast.

Gamer (2009), Neveldine/Taylor, D+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 5th, 2009

gamer-mare.jpg

Awful.

Watch this.

And for more yuks you can read this.

« Previous Page | Next Page »
Vip Watch!
1.5g acetaminophen single dose
acetaminophen causing rebound headaches
acetaminophen hydrocodone 500 5
acetaminophen raw material description
aspirin with acetaminophen
extract acetaminophen from oxycodone
jr strenght acetaminophen
pronounce acetaminophen
$30 aciphex rebate
aciphex heartburn
aciphex users
35 actonel mg
actonel from india
actonel weight gain
15mg actos
actos de comercio

Powered by WordPress | Theme by Roy Tanck