Secret Beyond The Door. . .(1948), Fritz Lang, B

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Monday, September 28th, 2009

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Lang’s deeply flawed yet still kinda fun rip off of Rebecca has all the trappings of a classic. . .if the story weren’t so asinine.

Still, ya gotta love suspense thrillers of this time period that so completely misunderstand psychotherapy.

Screened at Chicago’s Gene Siskel Film Center – a facility that strives for Film Forum greatness but actually delivers Quad Cinema goods.

Zombieland (2009), Ruben Fleischer, B

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Monday, September 28th, 2009

It’s not quite Drag Me To Hell, but it is a reasonably fun, funny movie.

Surrogates (2009), Jonathan Mostow, B+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Monday, September 28th, 2009

Fun, stupid B movie.

You can also read my written review here.

Antichrist (2009), Lars von Trier, C-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Monday, September 28th, 2009

This post-screening InstaReview is too kind. This movie sucks. Looks nice, though.

I Spit On Your Grave (1978), Meir Zarchi, D-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

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Since I plan to watch Willem Dafoe get castrated tomorrow, I thought it might be a good idea to watch one of the more famous castration movies.

Famously, Roger Ebert called this the worst movie ever made. He did so because he felt a moral outrage at its treatment of women. Naturally, some time later, some theorists have actually applauded this film as some sort of feminist film.

Both camps are misguided. I Spit On Your Grave is only one thing: a bad movie. A boring, bad movie.

Lengthy scenes of nothing happen, with the occasional rape or murder. These acts of violence are so poorly rendered they are pretty much devoid of evoking anything but derision.

This is a D- instead of an F just because I was so flabbergasted by the “retard” character that I found myself inadvertently entertained.

Eden Log (2008), Franck Vesteil, C+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

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I really wanted to like Eden Log, especially as it is part of the New Wave of Foreign Language Science Fiction (aka NWFLSF) but the movie is too obtuse for its own good.

It is cool to have a main character who doesn’t know what the heck is going on, but eventually you have to clue your audience in. And not at the 80 minute mark. Honestly, I didn’t know what the heck I had seen until I consulted the scene-by-scene explanation on Wikipedia.

Much of it looks cool, though. And sounds cool. I suspect that Vesteil has an interesting career ahead of him. But I can’t really recommend this movie too much. It is kind’ve a mess – and relies too much on a play on the word “plant.”

Capitalism: A Love Story (2009), Michael Moore, C

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY Capitalism: A

How did I wind up being the guy comin’ out swinging against Michael Moore?

I may be the only man on Earth who liked Michael Moore the man, but not his films. Or, at least, this film.

Read my full review at UGO.

The Monster Squad (1987), Fred Dekker, B-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

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A good natured, goofy cult classic. But, oy, the child acting is horrible. Fun, though. Mostly.

Bronson (2009), Nicolas Winding Refn, B

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

Odd flick. This video says it all.

Burn After Reading (2008), Coen Bros., B+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 19th, 2009

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Forgot to blog about this earlier in the week.

When I first saw this last year I was disappointed. I blame this entirely on the marketing campaign, which played up the actual spy/CIA angle.

Burn After Reading is just classic dumb guy humor – very similar to The Ladykillers in the Coens’ oeuvre. It is very, very funny. I didn’t really “get” The Big Lebowski the first time, either.

Two problems, though. I think, maybe, they went a *little* overboard on the silly faces stuff. I mean, come on. . .

Also, the ending stinks. It just ends. Period. I felt like it needed a few more short scenes – or at least visuals to go over the JK Simmons wrap-up. Odd.

Religulous (2009), Larry Charles, D-

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Friday, September 18th, 2009

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If you want to have Bill Maher shout his smug opinions in your face, this is the movie for you.

The real comedy is how I agree with everything Maher says, and I still want him to STFU.

Kinda shoddily made, too. I’d expect more from Charles. A poor, poor film.

The Informant! (2009), Steven Soderbergh, B

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Friday, September 18th, 2009

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I liked it.

You can read my witty review at UGO.com.

A Serious Man (2009), Coen Bros., A

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Monday, September 14th, 2009

I’ll have more to say about this movie. A lot more. But, for now . . .

City of Dust

Jordan | Cram it in Your Ear | Monday, September 14th, 2009

cityofDust2

Ignore the good reviews, Steve Niles’ City of Dust (soon to be a motion picture) is a pretty lame-ass comic.

The premise – that a Utopian society that has outlawed religion has also done away with “all storytelling,” so a savior has reconstructed robot versions of classic monsters to rekindle our imagination – is asinine.

The art is cool, though.

Heavy Traffic (1973), Ralph Bakshi, B

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 12th, 2009

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I consider Bakshi to be a spiritual sibling to Lenny Bruce. Cartoons and Stand Up are (or were) both avenues for light entertainment, but these two shmendricks had to go and get all arty on us.

Raging from the times and from drugs, this foul, bleak howl of racism and angst is actually a wonderful time capsule of something pretty heavy, man. A terrific New York film and some of the worst displays of Italian, Jewish and Black stereotypes every put to film.

Fringe, Season 1, B+

Jordan | Jordan Hoffman's Movie Journal | Saturday, September 12th, 2009

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Everyone needs a bag of salty chips now and then and Fringe Season 1 is 20 episodes of pure junk food delight.

Fringe is just slightly intelligent enough to keep you from feeling like a true idiot for watching.

Mixing pseudo-science and formulaic television, it has all the rote familiarity of Law & Order with a dash of the heavy, far out nonsense you are likely to find in a Green Lantern Corps comic book.

Part of me hates Fringe for being guilty of some of the worst shortcut writing I’ve ever seen, but I absolutely can’t wait til Season 2.

Star Trek: Romulans: The Hollow Crown

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Saturday, September 12th, 2009

consideration

John Byrne picks up where his “Alien Spotlight: Romulans” one-shot left off. Post Balance of Terror we discover that Romulus is a) more Roman than you think and b) on the verge of a dynastic shift.

All sorts of mishigoss ensues, all done in bright colors with a hundred and one nods to TOS deep cuts. It’s a run of 2 comics, but worth hunting down.

John Byrne forever is the shit.

Jennifer’s Body (2009), Karyn Kusama, B+

Jordan | The Star Trek Project | Saturday, September 12th, 2009

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