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The Ferengi are introduced and they are far more evil than they will later become. It will be interesting to watch the evolution from full-on villain to charming nuisance on Deep Space Nine.

Evolution: let’s talk about this:

Picard is much less of a dick by this episode. That basically stopped right after the pilot, but it took a few episodes for the bad taste to wear off.

Troi — what exactly is her job again? She just gets to sit there and make comments? Do any other ships have a “counselor” or is it just because the Enterprise is lucky enough to have a half-Betazoid on board? Obviously, she is there for story purposes only. Number one: wear tight clothes, show off knockers (as Lt. Yar has none and Dr. Crusher has to look respectable.) Number two: make googly eyes at Riker, fine. Number three: (and this just kinda dawned on me) function as the “McCoy character.” Data, obviously, is the Mr. Spock supplement, but Troi, all emotional and whatnot, is our supplement for McCoy. I think this will kind’ve fizzle out as the series grows into its own.

And since we’re talking about Data — you’ll notice that in these early episodes he acts a little too android-y. But I believe that learning and changing is built into his programming.

Worf — so far, no real introduction. Only a very quick reference (by Q in “Encounter at Farpoint”) about an alliance with old enemies. Considering that, in 1987, the original Trek movies still had Klingons as the enemy, it is surprising there hasn’t been more made of this. I expect a Worf-heavy episode is coming up soon.

Anyway, this episode is fun. I don’t really understand the ending (who was that dude with the staff on the planet?) but that’s okay. I liked this more, for some reason, than when I first reviewed it a few months back.

Lt. Yar is kidnapped by a band of those guys from the 7-UP commercials. What is this, planet Uncola?

Picard gives a speech laying out the Prime Directive that, in my late night haze last night, seemed like a sparkling indictment of W’s war in Iraq. Something to the tune of forcing a culture to conform to our notions of civilization will only retard the natural evolution of such civilization. Oh, if only Cheney, Wolfowitz & co. watched TREK!!!

Here is my first review, (I liked it a little better this time) — and you’ll notice I make the same dumb 7-UP joke (but I also include a photo, if you have no idea what I am talking about.)

1/2

For those that are really following my full Star Trek project — yes, I did review this episode already. This was during a very brief slip when I watched some of the “Trek canon” out of order. I am now back on track so I will revisit just a handfull of episodes. Also — some of my ratings may change. For example, I liked this episode a bit more the first time.

When I watched this last night, though, I wasn’t as enthused. I can’t stand Lt. Yar. She’s a fine character, but the woman playing her may just be the worst actress in history. Her line readings sound like she is auditioning for the high school play. I can’t wait for her to get killed off. (And, if I may be so shallow for a moment, she isn’t even that attractive — and it is implied, over and over, that she is supposed to be physically attractive. I know plastic surgery wasn’t what it was in 1987 and we expect more from our TV stars today, but there were plenty of hotter chicks on the original Trek.)

Anyway, this is the episode when everyone gets space-drunk and wind up doin’ it. Best is when the fat Japanese engineer sits Indian style and plays with his computer chip like a retarded child. . .that’s very entertaining.

1/2

Now Hear This! “Encounter at Farpoint” really blows.

I feel about it the same way I did when I gave my first and more clever review last August. Not only is it confusing, desultory and dull. . .most of the characters are unlikeable. Only LaForge is kinda cool — but he’s barely in it. Picard is a total prick. I’d mutiny if he stayed this way. I imagine Picard’s change in character will be the first thing I’ll notice as we go past pilot to regular season. I remember when this first aired in 1987. I eventually changed the channel. I didn’t give TNG a second chance til months later.

I am filled with rage. Have you experienced this nightmare:

You meet someone once . . .or worse, you don’t even meet them, you almost meet over a job thing that doesn’t pan out. . .but they put you on their “email list.” This is like a blog that comes to you. Eventually you work up the nerve to ask to be unsubscribed. And they don’t do it. Some weeks later you ask again. Then they start sending REEEEEEEEEEALY LARGE FILES. In fact, they send you MP3s of copyrighted music. Theoretcially, you could get sued just for answering their dumbass emails. Finally you have to beg to be unsubscribed.

I’ll let you know what happens next.

Krull, Dragonslayer, Clash of the Titans. They were three very influential movies on me. (For some reason Beastmaster, Excalibur and the ones with Christopher Lambert never connected.) Anyway, Krull is unique for two reasons:

One, it is basically Arthurian/Tolkein sword-n-sorecery stuff except for one shot of “outer space” and a reference to “other planets.” This gives it a patina of sci-fi. Also, the baddies — known as the Slayers — can shoot blue laser beams out of their spears. Sometimes. This blending of sci-fi and “fantasy” still is somewhat unique, even if it is just on the surface.

Two, the production design is insane. The “Black Fortress” looks like Salvidor Dali’s work from Hitchcock’s “Spellbound” but only more surreal. Womblike walls, giant eyeballs, point-ed stick chambers, crazy graphite blocks, stalactites to the left, Andromeda Strain hallways to the right. Hot stuff.

How is Krull as a movie? I dunno. It kinda sucks, but it is also very entertaining if you are into this sort of thing. There’s a dude who kinda looks like a gayer Patrick Swayze riding a horse trying to save a Princess from an evil fish-monster. Who can complain?

In 1999 the great Kerry Douglas Dye reviewed Krull just as The Phantom Menace was released. It sums up everything I feel about the movie, and does it in very entertaining fashion. I have reprinted it here without permission (even though, technically, I own 50% of this piece — ain’t that weird!!)

Krull (Peter Yates, 1983):

Krull isn’t a good movie, but if you want all the bad dialogue, bad acting, and goofy story of Star Wars without having to identify with the nerd-driven Zeitgeist that lies behind it, Krull may just be the movie for you.

When I last reviewed this film I came to the realization that unlike other fantasy franchises (Lord of the Rings or Star Wars) part of Trek’s (and Battlestar Galactica’s) appeal was that it was just like real life. I saw this film at age 12 and it changed the course of my life. I saw it numerous times in the theater and taped it off of HBO and watched it countless times afterwards. I’d have it on in the background as I did homework. I never tired of it, never will. I say without irony that it is one of the greatest films ever made. Even my mother liked this film. Leonard Nimoy is actually a good film director and the comic timing in this film as top notch. And while William Shatner is, I agree, a big joke, he manages a very tough performance in this film. He has to be the captain — headstrong and firm — yet he’s completely out of his element. He is the butt of jokes, he’s getting a little older and fatter, yet he still has to believably woo the whale chick. He’s basically riding three horses with one behind. Shatner’s impossible to listen to in commentary tracks, I agree (only Robert Plant, Paul Simon, Peter Bogdanovich or Charlie Rose can top him for obnoxiousness) but let’s be fair and call this a difficult and great performance. The only regret is that the Sulu B-story had to be cut due to lost time; as a result, he’s hardly in the film. Years later the “Generations” film would pass the torch from the Kirk to Picard era, but the massive success of this film is “The Next Generation’s” true genesis. Before we’d get to film number V, we’d have two seasons aboard NCC 1701-D.

Lousy Smarch Weather has squatted over us and shat one last time. Ice in the face is cute for about a minute — four hours of leading bewildered Mississippians through lower Manhattan can be quite a chore. But I ain’t complaining, it beats working.

Anyway, this is what I’ve been listening to these last few weeks.

John Adams’ “Nixon In China” may very well be the only opera in English that I enjoy. I find the music triumphant, ethereal, complex. . .sometimes all at the same time. The subject matter is nothing other than fascinating. Who doesn’t want to hear Cho En-Lai’s philosophical thoughts on trans-oceanic air travel? “News! News! News! News! News has a – has a – has a – has a kind of MYSTERY!!!!!!”

In the early and mid-90s, as the downtown jazz scene was polyglotting itself with turntables, jam rock and “world music,” there was a counter movement of straight-up, no bullshit, watered-down “hard-bop.” It was certainly the less sexy side of the coin — and the more likely to wind up as background to a car commercial — but that doesn’t mean it was totally without merit. Joshua Redman was (and possibly still is) a solid poster boy for this movement. This album does its job well. Selections were used by Louis Malle in “Vanja on 42nd St.” if that helps sell it at all.

I may not dress like it or have the hairstyle, but there was a time when I truly dug the “shoegazer” style of music. Just the other day Ann and I were out at a restaurant and The Stone Roses came on. “Oh, man,” I said. “This reminds me of high school.” Ann looked puzzled. “Really????” Anyway, My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless is great to have on when you are working on something else.

The first song on Black Sabbath’s album “Black Sabbath” is called “Black Sabbath.” It is that kind of dedication that makes them a band worth celebrating. Said track features Ozzy shouting “Oh, please, God help me!!!” and “No! No! No!” Awesome. Also, “The Wizard” is on this album and that’s one of their best tracks ever.

I am going to make a bold statement and say that “Northern Lights – Southern Cross” is the best album The Band ever put out. I know. I am a radical. Still, Richard Manuel’s vocal on “Hobo Jungle” is, if I may sound like a wuss, completely heartbreaking. I hear it and I want to lay down on the carpet face first. And I don’t even have a carpet! Listen to an upbeat track like “Ring Your Bell” and tell me that Band wasn’t, in addition to all the other diverse things they were, a fantastic funk band. Canadian funk. Who’d'a thunk?

I’m planning a larger blog posting all about 80s Jethro Tull. It is an undiscovered country for me. All I knew from it was “Steel Monkey” off of “Crest of a Knave.” If you didn’t know it was Tull, you’d ask, “what awesome band is this?” It sounds more like the Pet Shop Boys than Aqualung. Yes, this is the controversial album that won the hard rock/heavy metal grammy over Metallica. Such a scandal.

I bought this CD about ten years ago and only now am I listening to it to any point of familiarity. I also have Liszt’s Tone Poems Vol. II. I think that’s still in the shrink wrap. But I’m getting to it.

A few days ago I was walking up Steinway St. and a SUV of some sort was at a red light. As is usually the case, the driver was playing hip-hop at an earsplitting level. I was just about to roll my eyes in annoyance when I realized something — that sample — is that?? it is!! It was a rap song to the tune of “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.” A few nights later, when I had some time, I plugged some keywords into Google and discovered it was by Nas. (I also learned that Nas grew up in the Queensbridge projects, not very far from here at all.) Anyway, I downloaded the track, which kept me amused for a few listens. Then I dug up the old I. Ron Butterfly. Similarly, it kept me amused for a few listens. When Mr. Butterfly comes in after the drum solo (oy, the drum solo) with his explosion of integers (THREE, FOUR!!!) it represents a massive breakthrough for psychedelic culture. You have been led through a dizzying experience of sight and sound and are now being laid back into the matrix of time and conformity. . .just a little bit altered. Plus, dude sings like he’s doing a Bela Lugosi impression.

One day I’ll listen to one of the non-In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida songs on here.

Here is Frank Zappa & Co at the top of their game. Not sure of the exact year, but I do know that Ruth Underwood looks provocative in her cavewoman top.

Not really succesful, but points for trying. Maggie Gyllenhaal is very entertaining, and not just because she keeps showing her hiney. Is James Spader, like, the go-to guy for sexual dysfunction movies? What’s that guy’s problem? Ohhhhhh. . .this movie coulda been really good. I bet the story it is based on is good. What a shame. The more I think about it the more disappointed I get. I better stop writing before that B- drops down to a C+.

On the shelf with “Buckaroo Banzai” and “Dark Star” sits “The Ice Pirates,” a completely insane, incoherent mess of a sci-fi comedy that, in the right frame of mind, is somewhat enjoyable. Kung-fu robots, conveyor belt castration factories, space herpes, time warps that do funny things to afros, Bruce Vilanch. There’s a twisted & dark side just below the surface of this movie (a lot of people die for what at first seems like a kid’s movie) and I don’t know if this is some sort of commentary or just sloppy storytelling. Either way: they don’t make ‘em like this anymore. But maybe this box has already been checked.

I’ve liked every other Kiarostami film I’ve seen (and I’ve seen a few) but I can’t pretend to have liked this one. There were interesting moments here and there, don’t get me wrong. . .but, dear Christ, I wanted out of that car!

Three recurring thoughts during the film:

It sure does suck how Iranians treat women.

Iran, at least from the glimpses we see out the window periodically, kinda looks like Italy.

Dear God I hope there is no war between America and Iran. (Iran treats their women poorly, but at least they allow movies about this fact.)

Just yesterday Ann & I went to “Stand” on 12th & University — one of the newest in the “artisinal hamburger” joints that have been popping up everywhere.

The facts remains this: The best hamburger in the world can still only be found at Good Time Charlie’s in Glen Cove, Long Island. Good Time Charlie’s is a pub that’s just a gnat’s eyelash from being an official dive. A quick drive from the water, it is vaguely Irish and sometimes has live entertainment (if you call a man with a karaoke machine singing Charlie Daniels and Meat Loaf entertainment.) I’ve been there many, many times — just to check that I’m not crazy and that, yes, this is the greatest hamburger in the world. It is. Ann says so, too, and so do Kim & Rob.

Anyway, back here in the city, though, there are lots of good runners up. Stand is one of them. I had some wacky blue cheese sauce on mine. The medium was a little rare and the well done was a little medium. I’d be scared to see what a rare looks like.

The best part of the whole affair (other than the very reasonable bill) was dessert: we split a Toasted Marshmallow Shake. Vanilla ice cream mixed with marshmallow goo and (dig this) actual burnt marshmallow bits. It was, to put it in a way everyone can relate to, totally fucking awesome.

After we ate we happened upon a Free Tibet rally. There were two great moments: when some monks did some chanting and when an attendee (non-Asian) began screaming about the Olympics and Hillary Clinton. Couldn’t exactly figure out what he was saying, but he sure had passion!

Cartman maybe wasn’t so crazy when he froze himself because he couldn’t wait any longer to get a Wii.

A few days ago I was in the Rockefeller Center area with over an hour to kill. Part of me wanted to walk over to the public library to read, but another (and, in this case, victorious part) got me over to the Nintendo World store.

It was 10 AM — an empty time. Still kinda early, but late enough that the daily rush of people who still camp out for a Wii have already cleared out the store. There were no more Wiis to sell, but they had a few to play with.

So I started playing Wii Tennis. And the next thing you knew, I was nearly late for my next appointment.

The Wii is the most addictive video system ever! Now, granted, I haven’t actually owned any video games since the old Atari, so I am hardly a hardcore “gamer.” Still, if the store had any Wiis in stock, I may have bought one right there.

And here’s the funny part: I was actually working up a sweat! Compared to PlayStation or XBox, the Wii involves a tiny bit of excersize. Not a lot, but a little. I’d say that playing Wii Tennis is about as strenuous as playing ping-pong. (Not like, you know, the way Chinese people do, but, like, the way you do in a bar.)

I also played Wii Bowling. I will not lie: there is no excersize involved in this.

I didn’t get around to any games where you shoot Zombies or Klingons, but I’m sure they exist. I look forward to killing time in Rockefeller Center again soon.

I heart Wii!

In a case of bizzare synchronicity “Das Experiment” worked its way up my Netflix Queue and arrived just as I finished reading Thomas Blass’ bio of Stanley Milgram. Milgram and his historic experiment on obedience were a direct influence on Philip Zimbardo and his notorious Stanford Prison Experiment. Oliver Hirschbiegel’s “Das Experiment” is a fictionalized version of the events of Stanford. Whereas Zimbardo had the sense to pull the plug after a few days, “Das Experiment” sees the premise through to its conceivable, tragic (and cinematic!) conclusion. “Das Experiment” is certainly a voyeruristic joyride — and the production design is absolutely fabulous! — but I must charge Hirschbiegel with sacrificing psychological insight for the sake of action-adventure sequences. Put bluntly, we never get a chance to learn what “The Experiment” wants. The compliant prisoners are motivated by a paycheck, and the guards’ transformation from average Joe to bullying bastards, while we may fool ourselves into thinking this far-fetched, has precedence from Stanford all the way to Abu Ghraib. I just wish I knew more about these omnipitent tinkerers who set the scenario up. What are they looking for? What are they learning? What, by extension, is the lesson of this film, other than “sometimes people are dicks”? The biggest problem with the film, though, is the dopey love story, so obviously tacked on to please some financial exec. How the hell did that get past script stage?

But as an action-adventure film with some cool psychology thrown in, it is a real winner. Oliver Hirschbiegel is a terrific director and a master of the slow burn (this movie is not all that dissimilar from his later masterpiece “Downfall.”)

There’s nothing that isn’t fascinating about The Milgram Experiment, therefore there’s nothing that isn’t fascinating about its creator, Stanley Milgram. Hence, Dr. Thomas Blass’ recent straightforward biography, while not exactly a thrilling beach read, is indeed quite fascinating. All of its damning conclusions are on display. “The Banality of Evil” as Hannah Arendt put it — or Auschwitz in New Haven, if you want to go that route.

The minutiae of every step of Milgram’s long march to his post-doctoral degree is a bit tedious in the specifics, but I love a world where a dude like this can get through life without having a day job. Basically, Milgram spent his life pushing people’s buttons to see what made them tick. He’d send his grad students on the subway to see how many of them would give up their seat for no real reason other than just asking. He’d leave “dropped letters” to places like Planned Parenthood in notably conservative areas to see how many passersby would assist in getting them in the mailbox. (He also spend many years on a series of experiments that seem kinda pointless to me — proving that people are more familiar with busier parts of town than others. . .or something.) He’d also take psylocibin and see how it affected his appreciation of Gaugin.

His famous experiment on Obedience is the thing that made him, though. So much there was a TV film starring William Shatner about it!!! Alas, the one dumb thing Milgram did was nix Peter Gabriel’s request to allow a song cycle on “Obedience” featuring audio clips for sound beds and test images for the album cover. Oh, man, would that have been cool! Instead all we get is the album-filler track “We Do What We’re Told (Milgram’s 37)” from So.

A Scottish art group re-enacted “The Milgram Experiment” recently. They dug up some early 60s looking glasses, haircuts and furniture and really went to town. I must admit, the kitsch factor of a bearded prof. straight out of The Twilight Zone or early Cronenberg really turns me on. I think a remake of that Shatner flick might be in order.

This is the first of the series I saw in the theater — with my (no doubt bewildered) grandfather — so it has a soft spot. The truth is that it is a little sub-par. Nobody’s fault, really. . .it just feels like an “in-between” story. An extended episode of the show, really. The action is a little forced (just why are Christopher Lloyd and John Laroquette dressed as Klingons and blowing shit up?) and the plotting is spotty (the super planet isn’t so super; the takeover of the Klingon Bird-of-Prey “just happens” offscreen.) But! But! There’s a lot going on here that is good. We see a lot of “the Federation,” which seems like old hat now in a post Deep Space 9 world, but back then was brand spankin’ new. And the whole “getting the team together” slash “we’re with you, Captain” sequence is terrific. Plus, McCoy and Sulu look pretty dashing in civilian clothes. Chekov, not so much. Fun movie.

Very entertaining. Ann says this deserves an “A,” but I think the cool light of day brings some perspective. Still, very entertaining.