Before anything: KHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
Now, much like my review of Star Trek: The Motion Picture I give this the perfect 5-insignia rating. Yet these two films are complete opposites. ST:TMP vies for some heady, arty, lofty shelf space next to “2001.” ST:TWOK wants to swash your buckle!
(Real quick, again: KHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!)
You have to be insane not to like this movie. It’s got Ricardo Mantelban’s enormous rubber breasts, for god’s sake!!!
The action scenes are dynamite, the effects are great, the gross ear-monster going in Chekov’s ear is disgusting and everyone goes around quoting Melville. Is there anything not to like??
Now — readers — because I am always honest with you, I will share these facts. I’ve been pretty stinkin’ sick with flu all week. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this sick — certainly not in years. I watched ST:TWOK after a night of coughing and misery and with a *lot* of behavior-altering cherry-flavored medication flowing through me. So that must be the reason I found myself breaking into tears. Three times. At the end, of course. And when Scotty’s nephew got killed (when he turned to McCoy and said, “Ah know yuh tried” I just turned to jelly.) And — and this is really embarrassing — when Kirk first sees the Enterprise. I dunno. . .something about the music.
Oh, man, I need help.