Month: April 2006

Dog Day Afternoon (1975), Sidney Lumet, A

Hilarious, exciting, fascinating, perfect. Pacino’s best performance? It is so hard to pin down what is so real about Sonny. . .anyone who’s spent time in a scuzzy Hell’s Kitchen bar knows this guy. You’re just not sure if he’s a complete idiot or a genius. He’s actually mostly an idiot with the occasional flash of awareness, I think. Charles Durning, Chris Sarandon, John Cazale. . .all the women in the back (a young Carol Kane!) are all terrific, too. Better than I remembered it, I remembered it being...

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Snow Job

Tony Snow’s new job is nothing but good news for us. It further demonstrates the preposterousness of Fox News’ claim to be anything but a propaganda machine, and this patina of shame will be evident in Snow’s upcoming dispatches. Also, the rest of the press corps will be so jealous they didn’t get the call that the ought to be particularly rough on this douche...

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Jabberwocky (1977), Terry Gilliam, C-

The most positive spin I can put on this is that this movie isn’t as bad as you remember. If, like me, you rented a washed out and horribly cropped VHS back when you first discovered Monty Python back in 8th grage, then at the very least you’ll be happy to know that “Jabberwocky” is, at times, an artfully shot film. And there are a handful of funny moments. But unless you are a Terry Gilliam/Michael Palin completist, there is no reason to watch this mess. I listened to the Gilliam/Palin commentary track and as the closing credits were winding up Palin declares, “Not bad. (beat) Not good.” The two man laugh themselves silly. Good to see they aren’t...

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You Are A Fucking Geek: The Experience

Check every self-conscious quasar in your zetabert quadrant, you are going to Star Trek: The Experience. I wish I could say someone dragged me here. But on the plane to Vegas I stated aloud — I don’t care what we do, so long as we go to the Star Trek thing. I’m glad we did. The first thing I did was humiliate both myself and the woman selling the tickets when I flashed her the Vulcan hand signal and said “Live Long and Prosper.” This poor woman (over 55) then had to respond, as she had been trained to do, “Peace and Long Life.” I really shoulda just gotten down on my knees and begged forgiveness right then. The vendors immediately smelled blood in the water — it wasn’t five minutes later I was buying shit I didn’t need. For example, this little chestnut I coulda made myself with photoshop: Look a little closer there: As I was whining about buyers remorse (this picture was waaaay too costly) Ann reminded me that I don’t own photoshop and don’t know how to use it, either. So I should shut up. Anyway, there certainly was no shortage of dopey shit for me to take digital photos of. They include: Lt. Uhura’s sexy outfit. Insert Bob Hope growl here. As well as the thingamajig that sticks out of Lt. Uhura’s ear. A...

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Jordan Hoffman is a New York-based writer and film critic working for The Guardian, Vanity Fair, Thrillist, Times of Israel, NY Daily News and elsewhere.

He is the host of ENGAGE: The Official Star Trek Podcast, a member of the New York Film Critics Circle and challenges you to a game of backgammon.

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