If I was a man I would get out of this house and take photographs of the Gates under snow. I’ve seen the Gates only twice. Once on opening weekend, once mid-week up by Harlem Meer. I plan to go when my parents come in this weekend, but under a blanket of white snow would be something else. But it is c-c-c-c-cold. And out of my w-w-w-w-way. Decisions, decisions.
Yes! Oh, sweet heavens, yes! If you are like me and crave hammy, dated comedy, this is a gold mine! The last Hope and Crosby road picture (22 years after the first one) and, in some ways, the best. While the zingers fly in every which direction, the plot is inscrutable. Maybe Ed Wood did a pass on it. It has something to do with spy code. . .and it ends with Bob, Bing and Joan Collins trapped on a planet in the farthest reaches of Outer Space. Dorothy Lamour isn’t allowed to play the Joan Collins part because she was deemed “to old” (though she still looks pretty good in her cameo musical number.) There are a great deal of remarkable cameos: David Niven, Dean Martin & Frank Sinatra — and the best, Peter Sellers as an Indian doctor. He’s out of control hilarious. The objectification of women reaches a fever pitch as Hope and Crosby fight over Joan Collins — and one point both grab and arm and pull. Hope cries out, “Don’t! You’ll tear it!” Remarkable. Netizens pan this, saying the boys are too old. I say, not only do they break the 4th wall on the age issue many times, it is better that they are leering, out-of-place old men. This is a 60s film with a 40s cast — and it is fascinating. (And, at times, funny and clever in a non-kitsch way, too!)
I can’t believe what just happened! And I missed it! I was on the phone, in a quasi-business-like call, and the door bell wrang. Ann answered it, and I closed the door to the computer room. When I got off the phone, I asked Ann who was buzzing — it was 2 Jehova’s Witnesses!!!!! They read Ann a scripture and handed her pamplets!!!!!! I thought that only happened in Art Linklater essays!!!!!
All my life I’ve wanted Jehova’s Witnesses to knock on the door. (And to be on a Jury.) I’ve missed out on both! (I got called in for a voir dire, but was excused because I had plane tickets for the next day, and I habeus corpused them.) Ann seemed to think the Witnesses would be back because Ann was too polite to them. Awesome!!!!!
I was startled to see how many phrases I use in my daily speech derive from this film. No, I don’t go around saying “Ni!” or “answer me these questions three.” (At least not anymore.) It’s the little stuff. “I have no quarrel with you, Good Sir Knight.” I say that constantly — like every day. I don’t even think about it when I say it. I was kinda surprised to hear Graham Champan say it on my TV. Also, “Ah! But can you not also build bridges out of stone?” Kerry probably hears me say this the most, as it comes up a lot during problem solving. The most obscure element that has entered my vocabulary is the phrase “The most” when describing something. This comes from the moment when Tim the Enchanter is telling them where they will find direction to “the resting place of the most Holy Grail.” This double-disc DVD has has buckets of extra crap, and I am just the idiot to wade through them all.
They got lies so big
They don’t make a noise
They tell ‘em so well
Like a secret disease
That makes you go numb
With a big ol’ lie
And a flag and a pie
And a mom and a bible
Most folks are just liable
To buy any line
Any place, any time
When the lie’s so big
As in Robertson’s case,
(That sinister face
Behind all the Jesus hurrah)
Could result in the end
To a worrisome trend
In which every American
Not “born again”
Could be punished in cruel and unusual ways
By this treacherous cretin
Who tells everyone
That he’s Jesus’ best friend
When the lies get so big
And the fog gets so thick
And the facts disappear
The Republican Trick
Can be played out again
People, please tell me when
We’ll be rid of these men!
Just who do they really
Suppose that they are?
And how do they manage to travel as far
As they seem to have come?
Were we really that dumb?
People, wake up
Figure it out
Religious fanatics
Around and about
The Court House, The State House,
The Congress, The White House
Criminal saints
With a “Heavenly Mission” –
A nation enraptured
By pure superstition
Do you believe in the Invisible Army?
(Yes, indeed!)
When the lie’s so big
And the fog so thick
And the facts kept forgotten
Then the Republican Trick
(Ketchup is a vegetable!)
Can be played out again
People, please tell me when
We’ll be rid of these men!
I actually watched this movie twice. Once alone, the second time with Ann. I needed to talk to someone about it. I needed to figure out if I liked it. I find myself with extreme mixed opinion. Forget the sheer spectactle — 3000 actors, the longest single shot in cinema, one movie done in one take — that is a technical marvel and deserves respect. The idea is also quite unique — two men (one unseen. . .he is “us”) materialize in the Hermitage museum and get a private tour of Tsarist history. Sounds cool? There are times, though (and by this I mean vast 6 or 7 minute segments) where you are just watching a guy walk around and muse to himself. “El Greco. . .El Greco. . .nice, nice. . . ” These intermediate scenes (”knee plays” Robert Wilson would call them) are there to serve the function of the gimmick — one shot. This raises a philosophical question: do you risk boring your audience for the sake of a technique? The one shot certainly does work. The running joke Ann and I made as we watched the film was “would you say this movie had a dream-like quality to it?” You be the judge. I’ll tell you this: I watched it straight through two times and remained mesmerized enough not to get bored — or, at least, when I did get bored, I didn’t stay bored for long. Always a new batch of outrageous costumes in the next gallery.
LeisureSuit Media is proud to announce that a reading of “Hatchet Man,” our newest screenplay, will be held at Chashama (217 E 42nd St.) on Tues, March 22.
Stay tuned for more info.
Before I say anything: John Williams’ score is as fantastic as any masterpiece of symphonic music. Especially the “Love Theme” and the opening “Krypton Theme.” There, I said it. Now — this movie’s first half is iconic, epic and fun. He’s hugging his mother in a corn field, he’s telling Lois Lane he stands for Truth, Justice and the American Way. There’s just enough tongue-in-cheek to keep you from rolling your eyes, but everyone believes every word. Then, in the second half, the movie gets far to specific with Lex Luthor’s plot to destroy California. Hey — I guess the movie had to have some plot eventually. But when the plot comes in, the film switches into low gear and begins, ever so slightly, to suck. No blame to Gene Hackman’s gaudy performance. (All the performances are great, esp. Margot Kidder.) If I wanted to be one of those guys, I could point out plot holes and inconsistencies of logic, but, shit, it is Superman, yknow? Anyway, it was great to see this for the first time in 10 (15? 20?) years.
Odd that I never saw this, as I consider myself a Baz Luhrman fan. The first half is radical flash and mayhem — wonderfully constructed, lots of fun. Mercutio is a drag queen!!! The second half is more traditional, and that works, too. Great to see Paul Sorvino, Brian Dennehy, and M. Emmet Walsh (!) in small parts. If I must point out flaws, it is as follows (and don’t yell): Clare Danes is adoreable, gorgeous, beautiful. . .but she ain’t up to snuff here. This just isn’t (or wasn’t) in her skillset. Points for trying and overall points to Luhrman for a dynamite production.
If Liv Ullman were a rock album she’d be Exile on Main St; she’s perfect. Liv Ullman has the ability to express an essay’s worth of emotion with one twitch of her lip. Her performance here is just about the greatest film performance I have ever seen. Full stop. To answer a question — yes, I did watch the full 5 hour version. No, I did not do it in one go (it was intended to be seen in six episodes, six scenes if you will) over a period of time. Plus, it would’ve been too painful to do it all in one go. This is a microscopic epic. Basically a two person play on a bland set, it is remarkable that not once does this get dull. During the 2004 election, some wonks kept repeating that John Kerry “understood nuance.” This is all about nuance. No one is all good, no one is all bad. Throughout much of the story (glimpses over years of a troubled relationship) your allegiance is with Ms. Ullman. . .but then she’ll go and do something so exasperating you just throw up your arms. I recommend this movie to anyone secure in their own relationship; it is said to have been responsible for a tremendous rise in divorce all through Scandinavia.
Here’s a picture of the legendary Jimmy Heath, who Jason & I saw in concert last week. We were at the very odd Tribeca Performing Arts Center at the Borough of Manhattan Community College. That is one freaky place.
I’ve just spent an infuriating amount of time trying to set up something called an RSS feed direct from Netflix to this blog. It is supposedly an easy thing to do, but I can’t figure out where to begin once I downloaded the “plug-in” (I think I need to download a plug-in which allows me to upload plug-ins. Or something.) Anyway, the whole thing was going to be a little nifty sidebar where you could see what was on my Netflix queue. I’ve got a better idea. If you want to know, ask me.
I fear my love affair with Dr. Who has come to a halting thud. It could be that this is the first series I’ve watched that didn’t star the Fourth Doctor, Tom Baker. Or it could be that 80s cheap sci-fi effects don’t hold the same thrall for me that 70s cheap sci-fi effects do. Or it could be that this particular series was just very dull, and had about as much depth as old Buck Rogers serials you sometimes catch at the Tut Movie Palace at the American Museum of the Moving Image (or even, shudder, “The Phantom Menance.”) Either way you cut it, this flat out blew. All the other Dr. Who DVDs that I requested have been sent back down to the bottom of the Netflix queue, at least temporarily.
If you don’t see how a documentary about a large, bearded street philosopher taking care of a mysterious flock of wild parrots in the middle of San Francisco isn’t fascinating, well, then, I don’t know what to tell you. If you are looking for the perfect date movie, this is it. (A big score for last night’s Valentine’s treat, where I had Ann keep her eyes closed as she entered the theater so she wouldn’t know what she was seeing until the picture started.) I was a little sad at the end, though, when the Big Man had to leave. . .I don’t see why he couldn’t've at least kept Mingus in a cage. Also, great to know there are people out there who aren’t “working” in the common, American sense, but are very much serving a community need and are supported by that community. There’s far too little of this in the world and this is a world, particularly a country, that can afford it. I’d like to visit Telegraph Hill — I used to spend some time in Woodstock, NY with an insider’s crowd and the vibe — long gray hair and instrumental guitar music, basically — is similar. The music in this film, awful in a vaccum, is perfectly suited. A great little movie. And — hats off for shooting a low budget documentary on film! I’m glad Judy Irving didn’t get the memo that 16mm was dead! Long live 16mm! Also up for discussion: did Connor commit suicide?
Here John Pohoretz not only shows himself to be an idiot (turning his anti-Gates screed into a pro-GOP screed) but a poor fact checker. I’m sure Frederick Law Olmstead (who designed the park with Calvert Vaux) would be interested to know that he’s been given full credit and that his name has been changed to Benjamin.
Hooray!
You can always count on the NY Post to kill your buzz. Behold, raving lunatic Andrea Peyser turning away from Monica’s blue dress for fifteen minutes:
The Diggs celebrated the completion of their new EP — which should be released shortly. They kicked much ass.
I don’t think I’d ever seen Central Park so packed. I’d seen parts of it packed — but the entire place was packed. The surprise? Everyone was in a good mood. It was, if you’ll forgive me, a happening. As Bill Repsher would say, the Paxil was flowing freely. We didn’t make it above 86th St. I have a hunch it is more quiet around the Harlem Meer. I intend to head back there on a particularly cold day to see The Gates in solitude. Here are some photos:
Outside of Belvedere Castle we bumped into Heather Klein and Danny Cross. Haven’t seen them since they tied the knot in October!
Lastly, got to hand it to the park workers yesterday. Everybody was helpful and friendly. This woman stood near the Cleopatra’s Needle (note: THAT was the highlight for me — seeing the 2 thousand year old obelisk juxtaposed with this new art. I took several photos trying to get them in the same shot — and I just couldn’t nail it. But if you go there yourself you’ll see what I am talking about) Anyway, this woman was very funny.
