No, this has nothing to do with the New York Yankees. I am here to report that my computer has lost the function of burning mixed CDs. Luckily, I have an iPod and, therefore, this isn’t really an issue for ME. But. . .supposing I wanted to make a mix for Ann?!? Can’t do it! Now. . .I really ought not to complain, as the version of iTunes that I use is pirated and were it not for that version I would be unable to use my iPod. . .but, still, can’t I have both like everyone else in the world? Also. . .what the hell am I going to do with all of these blank CDs I’ve got lying around????
My mom and dad are always fighting
And it’s getting very unexciting
To get a good job
You need a proper schooling
Now who the hell
Do ya think you’re fooling
But it’s not my place oh no
No it’s not my place no no
No it’s not my not my not my place
In the 9 to 5 world
And it’s not my place
In the 9 to 5 world
And it’s not my place
with 9 to 5 girl
It’s not my place
In the 9 to 5 world
Hangin’ out with Lester Bangs you all
And Phil Spector really has it all
Uncle Floyd shows on the T.V.
Jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood, 10cc
But it’s not my place
Don’t wanna be a working stiff
Lose my identity
‘Cause when it comes
To working 9 to 5
There ain’t not place for me
Ain’t my reality to me
Vin Scelsa’s on the radio
Ramones are hangin’ out in Kokomo
Roger Corman’s on a talk show
With Allan Arkush and Stephen King
You know
But it’s not my place
Now that the ad campaign that’s lasted a year is just dying out, I finally tried Pom Wonderful Juice. It is fantastic. And, I kid you not, got rid of a chest infection I had. I simply had no time to go to the doctor, so I drank lots of juices instead. And I got better! Now I can’t stop drinking this shit, even though it costs 4 bucks at a Manhattan bodega (far less at C-Town in Queens.)
A story sad enough to make a Robot cry. If you don’t laugh when the Robot hits his high note (or when the little desk toy falls off his head) then there’s something wrong with you. How John Kerry’s daughter’s film won an award at Austin and this didn’t I can’t tell you.
I can’t give this film a letter grade because it wasn’t really me that watched it. I’ve noticed that when I get really tired I get really slap-happy. This used to happen to my sister a lot and now, at age 29, it is happening to me. I watched “Rat Race,” a All B-Star Cast bonanza that’s a mix of “It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World” and “Midnight Madness” toward the end of my time at the Austin Film Festival. No, it wasn’t being screened there. I watched it in my hotel room after a particularly long night that was sponsored by both Bombay Sapphire and Dos Equiis Beer. I had about 3.5 hours sleep and had a full day and was just. . .giddy. So when Seth Green was dangling off a hot air balloon by hanging onto a cow’s udder that sprayed the other guy in the face. . .well. . .I laughed so hard I had a major coughing spasm. I’d like to watch this again and see if it is actually funny.
Dylan Kidd gets the sophmore slump (”Roger Dodger” was a splendid “B+”) and produces a steaming pile of camel dung. A failure on every basic screenwriting level such that even a half naked Laura Linney and a loveably smug Topher Grace (playing exactly 50% his character from “Traffic” and 50% his role on “That 70s Show”) can’t keep this from sucking something awful. I’m giving this a “D” instead of an “F” for two reasons. One is because there is one good moment in the film (and just like in “Tootsie” it is a necktie scene) where Kidd bothered to actually inject something resembling a theme and, two, I can’t give anything with Linney in it an “F.” Ipso facto the film has some merit if she is there.
I don’t normally review shorts or TV, yet this short that aired on TV (Saturday Night Live, to be exact) is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life. I had a few drinks at the time, so the memory is hazy, but I do remember falling out of my seat as Glen Frey of the Eagles licked Ben Stiller’s face and then forced him to sexily eat dog food.
Finely crafted character study about a repentent but unreformed child molester. Kevin Bacon is brilliant and will win this year’s Independent Spirit Award. Mos Def, too, is fantastic in a small role. Kyra Sedgwick does her best with a difficult and, ultimately, poorly conceived part. C’est la vie. Nicole Kassell has made a terrific first film and hopefully won’t disappear like Kimberly Peirce did after “Boys Don’t Cry.”
Comeuppance: The Movie! A fun movie about something not that interesting. One of the world’s biggest assholes, Troy Duffy, very quickly jumps to the top of the entertainment pyramid. Why have you never heard of him? Because he is such an asshole (even by Hollywood standards) that the Industry quickly says “we made a mistake!” and rescinds their offer before any of his work (film and music) can see the light of day. Basically you get 45 minutes of watching a guy be a dick, then 45 minutes of gratification as his world crashes in around him. Probably not a very healthy psychological excercise, but fun nonetheless.
I am off to Austin! Be back on Sunday. Maybe Ann will have put away all my boxes of crap that I keep saying I’ll get to in the extra room! We shall see.
Before she moved to hardcore pornography Catherine Breillat made some lovely little films that would dance around the edges of pornography and if you dared called it pornography it meant you were unaccepting of art. Anyway, this picture follows 48 hours in the emotional whirlwind life of a 14 year old busty French girl on vacation. Why this is legal to rent (through the mails, I’d like to point out!) isn’t something I want to get into. . .as there are some eeriily real-looking scenes. And, yes, the girl was 14 was she shot the picture, unless the imdb lied about her age. But pedophilia aside, a typically slow-but-intrugiong picture as only the French can pull off.
Slick look at political campaign managers. I expected this to be super-80s and dated, but it isn’t. Has there ever been a movie about a political campaign that *wasn’t* a jaundiced look at how image trumps ideas? Note: the all star cast is fine here save for the usually great Julie Christie. She musta been huffin’ on mounds of blow in between takes or something. . .she is just awful.
Flawed, yes, deeply flawed, but not quite as horrible as I was led to believe. Firstly, as one who’s never read the book, I was at first taken with how different this is from the James Whale 1931 version. And through most of the picture I was taken with just how wise they were back then to shelve the melodramatic, rolling thunder plot. It just keeps going and going and gets more absurd and shifts through time and introduces people just to kill them and, frankly, makes it seem that the book was written on a drunken bender. But at other times, and perhaps I must give credit to Branagh’s performance in a film loaded with hammy performances, I was moved by the central character’s fury with, essentially, existence. The subtext here is rage against the machine, something untouched upon in the original film (which is fine because it has windmills and towers and Karloff’s flat head) but shown here in all its frustration and depravity. These moments, chiefly Frankenstein’s reactions to death, are striking, perhaps more so because the rest of this movie blows so overwhelmingly. Now — De Niro. We don’t like to admit it, but sometimes the guy is a fucking hack. And he is a joke here. There is a scene here where he and Branagh are angrily philosophizing in a cave and I flashed on those outtakes of Brando from “Apocalypse Now” that you see in “Hearts of Darkness.” It’s MST3K bad. All said, though, I’m glad that I finally saw this borderline-shitty movie, even if it is 10 years later.
Caught this on TCM’s “The Essentials.” The script is like an atomic clock. Dustin gets into drag 25 minutes in and by then we’ve met a half dozen fantastic characters and feel like we know them our whole lives. Perfect economic writing. Everyone has a favorite scene — mine might be Teri Garr and the chocolate covered cherries. Her performance is hysterical and her character (the insecure and not-very-good faux-jolly unemployed actress) is the part she was born to play. I don’t understand how Jessica Lange and not she got the oscar. But I take it back. . .the scenes with Pollack as George the agent. These five scenes kill me every time. Pollack’s timing is wonderful. But, no. . .the party scene at the beginning. . .with Hoffman hitting on every woman there babbling about auras and Bill Murray waxing over his rain-drenched dream audience. . .surely that’s the best scene. Or the wacky shopping montage? Or the big “live” climax? Who can choose?
We’re almost all moved in. We don’t have a couch and the art room is nothing but boxes, but you can get up in the middle of the night to take a leak and avoid bumping into things now. Not bad for the 1 week anniversary, I think. Photos coming soon.
I write to you from a pay terminal. My G4 is still in a box in a room we haven’t gotten to yet.
Big thumbs up must be given to the following people with much haste:
Denise Stockman
Kerry Douglas Dye
John Schmit
Rob Haussmann
Kim Tabatt
Jason Rozger
William Repsher
and Jake & Larry
Eventually I’ll write a bit more about who Jake & Larry are.
Oddest thing in my new home: a Braille typewriter
First best thing about the new ‘hood I’ve taken advantage of: Thai food.
Second: I can take the N/W *or* the R train.
First thing I don’t like about the new place: Plumbing. The toilet is on constant hiss, the kitchen sink drips and the shower gave me a 3rd degree burn.
Lastly, 311 remains the coolest thing to happen to NYC in 10 years. I called it and quickly found out when garbage day was. I’ll never have to speak to neighbors again!
Morte info soon. . .
The SS Fun is going to be submerged for one week. I move tomorrow and won’t have cable at the new place ’til a week later. Check back later. And don’t send me email. You wanna contact me, please call.
