Month: October 2004

Suspiria (1977), Dario Argento, B

If you like this sort of thing, than this is the one to see. What sort of thing? Marajuana-friendly, plot-free supernatural horror film with horrible acting yet outrageous lighting, sets, garish prog-rock and colors colors colors. While watching this a small part of me is thinking “this is retarded” but most of me is thinking “this looks so frickin’ cool.” You make up your own...

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Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back, Irvin Kershner, A

The few gaffes of Episode IV are cleared up here and the result is a slam dunk. The comedy actually works, the timing is crisp, hell, there’s even a good performance out of Mark Hamill (though I still like Chewbacca best.) (Two questions this time, though. One — how is it that the THREE different big ass bad guy ships can’t track the Millenium Falcon on radar when it is stuck to the side of one of ’em? I’ll buy that the one it’s stuck to won’t catch it, but the others? Two — The Millenium Falcon sneaks away with the trash (and what is that trash, really?) but Boba Fett is smart enough to hide himself with that trash to track the Falcon down. Fett has basically outsmarted Han Solo. Fine. So now he’s following Han Solo to Cloud City. How is it that, as Lando Calrissian says, the Imperial Forces get there before the Millenium Falcon does? Especially considering that we see the giant ships zip away at light speed after they dump out the trash? It just doesn’t add...

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Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977), George Lucas, A-

Very entertaining. Occasional moments of dreadful dialogue and some clunky pacing, plus some choppy acting by Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher. Is this to emulate Saturday serials or because Lucas is a dolt? The world will never know. I like Chewbacca best. (Also — what really was on Alderaan? Is it a peaceful planet with no weapons as Leia says? If so, why are Luke and Obi-Wan bringing R2-D2 there? There must’ve been *some* rebel base there of some sort.) (Also also — you may as well mark me down as another of those people who is less-than-impressed with the “Special Edition” of this film. I’d never seen the new changes before and they kinda blow. The digital effects look dreadful. Oddly enough the one visual flaw from the original, the little box of light around the bad guy space ships during the Han & Luke shoot ’em up toward the end, remains...

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Jordan Hoffman is a New York-based writer and film critic working for The Guardian, Vanity Fair, Thrillist, Times of Israel, NY Daily News and elsewhere.

He is the host of ENGAGE: The Official Star Trek Podcast, a member of the New York Film Critics Circle and challenges you to a game of backgammon.

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