Month: August 2004

Suddenly I’m Miss Beehive 1963

I’ve figured out why it is only now, years after seeing the off-Broadway show and subsequent film, that I am convinced the “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” soundtrack is a perfect fucking album. It’s because the god-awful story has all but faded from memory and I can just enjoy these songs as songs. Go download a few of them (especially Midnight Radio, Wicked Little Town [Gnosis version] and Tear Me Down) and you’ll see what I...

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Crawfish On My Mind

Long before the Superdome Where the Saints of football play… Lived a city that the damned call home Hear their hellish rondelet… New Orleans! Home of pirates, drunks and whores New Orleans! Tacky overpriced souvenir stores If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip’ New Orleans! Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile New Orleans! Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul New Orleans! Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank New...

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Not The 1/4th That’s Funny!

John Stewart reminded me tonight that John Kerry is at least one-quarter Jewish — but somehow he’s not even one-quarter funny! I had to turn off his appearance on the Daily Show as I sat there cringing and making uncomfortable grimaces. Oy vey! Unfunny! The man really does have no personality whatsoever! That’s fine — I’ll still vote for him. (I bet President Jeb Bartlett wouldn’t fare well opposite Stewart either and he’s the greatest president ever!) Oddly, Al Gore did well on Letterman, if I am not mistaken. ....

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Somewhere below The Royal Tennenbaums and above Big Fish is Amélie. It’s an odd genre. Let’s call it quirksploitation. There’s about 30 minutes too much of Amélie. . .right in the center where she’s caring for her co-workers. I’ve seen the wacky co-workers on a million BBC sitcoms. When we stick to the cat-and-mouse clues-around-the-city love affair, the movie is really cookin’. There also may’ve been just one too many moments of unexplained poorly rendered digital glows of internal/eternal light after every time something nice happens. But, alas, the pros far outweigh the cons. Ms. Tatou is quite adorable and the voice-over is funny. The scene where M. Kassovitz is dressed like a skeleton going “Wooooo!” into her ear in the funhouse is absolutely...

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GoodFellas (1990), Martin Scorsese, A+

This was part of the trinity. I saw this, Jarmusch’s Mystery Train and the Coens’ Miller’s Crossing at roughly the same time. They all went to NYU Film School so I figured I would too. So, basically, I have this movie to blame for not going to a real college and having a real job and actually having more than eighty-nine cents in my bank account. Still — it is a fantastic movie. Watching it again (for the 20th time, probably, but the first time in years) I was amazed at how much of the cliched Robert De Niro impression actually come from this movie — a movie he made well on into his career. The furrowed brow, the stammering, the “heh”s — it all started here. Sadly, this movie spawned a thousand copycats (including Scorsese’s own Casino, which is basically the same exact movie — a good movie. . .but the same movie) and also pretty much invented swaggering dick 718 faux gangster machismo which is a bit of a neauseating thing if you live in New York City. There’d be no Victoria Gotti reality TV show 14 years later if there was no GoodFellas. There’d also be fewer car commercials set to classic rock. Scorsese pretty much nailed the pastiche-of-pop with this film (inventing the practice, really, with Mean Streets in the early 70s) and now, frankly,...

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Jordan Hoffman is a New York-based writer and film critic working for The Guardian, Vanity Fair, Thrillist, Times of Israel, NY Daily News and elsewhere.

He is the host of ENGAGE: The Official Star Trek Podcast, a member of the New York Film Critics Circle and challenges you to a game of backgammon.

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