Jordan Hoffman Dot Com

Good News: I give my first tour next week.
Bad News: It is at 8:30 AM.

To answer your question: why did I see Troy? A training session I was in ended far earlier than expected and I had a few hours to kill before I went to work. And it was hot. It was between this and the new Jaime Foxx movie; the new Jim Jarmusch film wasn’t playing in the area and “Super Size Me” wouldn’t let out in time. And I wanted to see Brad Pitt’s greased-down ass. “Troy” both could have been a lot better and it could have been a lot worse. There are elements of intelligence peeking through — mostly the sly way one could equate Hellenic imperialism to the current situation in Iraq. That and Eric Bana is fantastic. He was fantastic in “Black Hawk Down” and I’m starting to think I should see “The Hulk” again, that maybe I was just too sleepy to get it. Eric Bana may be the most exciting big time Hollywood sex symbol star to come along since Russell Crowe. The dialogue is wretched, though, and the film’s perspective shifts focus an awful lot. At first I thought this was a subtle way of tweaking our expectations (maybe Achilles is just a douche?) but then I realized it was just confusion. The one-on-one fight scenes are great and some of the battle scenes are cool; some of the battle scenes are CGI-d to death and boring.

Now I can tell you how to get to Carnegie Hall without worrying about The Man breathing down my neck. (Answer — practice.)

Recent studies in Medieval Art, added to my usual need to rock, inspired this CD. Lemme know if you want a copy:

1) Fairport Convention — Come All Ye
2) Joan Baez — Silver Dagger
3) Jethro Tull — Songs From The Wood
4) Simon & Garfunkel — Scarborough Fair
5) Steeleye Span — Thomas The Rhymer
6) Pentangle — Jack Orion
7) Steeleye Span — Three Drunken Maidens Genesis — Dancing With The Moonlight Knight
9) Jethro Tull — Minstrel In The Gallery
10) Pentangle — Light Flight
11) Fairport Convention — Fotheringay
12) Fairport Convention — Matty Groves
13) Steeleye Span — All Around My Hat
14) Steeleye Span — Black Jack Davy
15) Procol Harum — A Whiter Shade Of Pale *

*This last track isn’t really Cloister Rock — it’s more Cathedral Rock. . .but it tidies it up nice and I wanted at least one bonafide hit on the disc.

Reed Barker, one of my only friends south of the Mason-Dixon line, has a blog. Lawrence of Arabia is his favorite movie, so you can trust him.

Conjunctions are taking over New York City.

This from the Palesitinian Authority to Hamas:
“…treat the bodies according to Islamic law, and [do not] hurt Islamic values. [Do not] tarnish the image and values of the Palestinians.”

And after the Red Cross, tired of scrounging around looking for missing body parts of dead Israeli soldiers, started making noise Hamas fired back:

“We possess the remains of your bodies that were thrown into the streets of Gaza. We have our demands to hand them over to the Zionist occupier.” (Quotes from Haaretz, the “liberal” paper.)

I think better treatment was given to Hektor in the Illiad.

Incidentally, the recently beheaded Nick Berg, like Danny Pearle, was Jewish.

I’m a little blue as I am about to go and shave off my beard. I need to do it for “continuity” — an upcoming project I will be crowing about in the future, fear not. Anyway, here are some “so long” snaps.

My beard.

Another shot.

A close up of my repulsive cheek hair.

This is not a joke.

I just got OSX. As a result, I may not post so much in the next few days, or see as many movies as usual. I’ll be too busy commiting victimless crimes.

Shappy, my favorite performance poet (tied with Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz, I suppose) gets some good press here.

Dick Miller, Bert Convy and Beatniks Beatniks Beatniks! A lonely busboy at the heppest hep spot in all of hepville just knows he has it in him to be a great artist. So what if he can only create by killing! A very funny movie.

Kerouac raps over images of Ginsberg, Corso, Orlovsky and Delphine Seyrig smoking cigarettes. What more do you want? Dig.

RIP Alan King.

So much of the world’s problem is due to organized religion. So I have decided to form my own. I worship this thing.

Jordan’s fellow people.

Funny Dog.

Recently I learned what a Vivarium is.